Through Nation's Eyes (Under Repairs)

Deep Ties Pt-2

⚠️ Mentions of eating disorder and self destructive thoughts⚠️
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

"Alfie, are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm not entirely sure, I've tried getting better but as soon as I get really stressed again, I end up overeating to the point my stomach can't handle it." Alfred says while looking down.

"Aye, hermano, you will get through and past this. It'll take awhile, but you'll make it." Diego reassures.

"Heh, thanks D." Alfred chuckles.

They all go quiet. An awkward silence fills the room, until Alfred breaks it.

"Well, you'd think that if I had an eating disorder, it'd be anorexia or bulimia, but instead I got stuck with chronic overeating." Alfred chuckles trying to lighten the mood, and failing horribly.

Hey, he tried. It's the effort that counts here.

"Ahanu, what pushed you to this, if you don't mind me asking?" Alicia (Costa Rica) asked.

"I think it was just the pressure of being the world's superpower. With the amount of pressure and eyes on me, plus their insults, I needed an outlet.
I wanted a way to numb the pain in a way it wasn't super obvious to even me that I was hurting myself.
I just wanted to numb myself to it all, and still hurt myself. And not just myself, but you guys too" Alfred explained starting to tear up.

"Aw, Ahanu, we cant be mad at you, you were pushed to your limit. It wasn't your fault." Mei comforted.

"Thanks for that Yungai. I appre-"

"Besides, next time the others insult you, I can handle them real quick." Mei darkly smiles while holding up one of her sandals.

It was enough to send shivers down her cousins' spines. Mei was not a force to be reckoned with when she's pissed off.

"But, do you think I'll ever be pushed back, and lose all the progress I've made?" Alfred asks.

"We won't let that happen cuz." Maria states.

"Yeah!" Max (Molossia), Wendy (Wy), and Michael (Hutt River) cheer. Alfred smiles slightly.

"Are you able to remember when this began?" Matthew asks.

"I-I think it began a little while after 9/11 happened.

After the attack, I felt like I couldn't handle or control what was happening. So I tried to numb that horrible feeling by eating way more than what's healthy.

However, I think it was just from all the stress boiling over. With how my country treated Natives, black people, Asians, Latinos, LGBTQ+, and others. Not to mention all pf the god damned wars constantly.

I know I'm only hurting myself more. But the problem is, by the time I realized that, it had become an addiction.

I eventually managed to realize, but I was already so deep into it. I knew I was hurting myself, but that didn't mean I would be able to suddenly be better, as much as I wanted it.

I still remember hearing the words "Just because you know your colorblind, it doesn't mean you can see the colors." That's when I truly realized it was going to take a lot of time. That's when I decided to truly open up.

I just wish I was able to realize it sooner. For me and others struggling with an eating disorder. I wish some could realize how dangerous eating disorders are. And also that it is possible to heal from them with time. And I wish people deep in whatever disorder they have could have realized so much sooner." Alfred explains.

"Good grief, you should be a motivational speaker Alfie." Francisco (Peru) chuckles.

Everyone else starts to laugh a bit at Francisco's statement.

They're having a depressing conversation, they need to keep their spirits up at least a little bit.

"Even though the eating disorder is most noticeable, the main way I've hurt myself is through verbally berating myself. It's my go to self destructive behavior. Heh, I guess that statement about love language and self destructive behavior correlating was right." Alfred smiles somberly.

"Hey, Michael, how are you holding up, especially since, you know." Kyle (Australia) started.

Everyone tensed up, they knew exactly what Kyle was talking about.

"Let's not talk about that right now, this isn't the time." Michael stated.

Max and Wendy looked down sadly, they knew exactly what was going on with their brother.

And oh boy, did Michael's family not like it.

"I'm sorry we couldn't be of more help to you Alfie." Michael apologized.

"Heh, you guys just being here for me is enough. It's more than a lot of people could do." Alfred reassured them.

"We'll stick with you till the end hermano, primo." Alejandra states.

Alfred and Michael smile.

"Thanks guys, you're all the best family ever." they say at the same time. Everyone smiles.

"By the way, anyone wanna check on the rest of the Asian fam-" Alfred starts.

Mei, Macario, and Fahrid (Indonesia) had already run out of the room.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Oh crap, this took forever.

Sorry about that guys :/

I recently found out that Hutt River is going to be rejoining Australia due to debt because of Coronavirus. I'm not happy about it, 2020 is going to piss off a lot of Hutt River fans.

And, It's gonna make the fam really sad, as you saw.

Also, I saw a thing that your go to self destructive behavior, often correlates with your love language.

Like, if you love language is words of affirmation, but your go to self destructive behavior is verbally berating yourself. Because positive verbal affirmation is how you feel loved, while negative is how you feel hated.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Stay safe, don't get infected, yada yada. Have a good day/night.

Finally, I thank God for Jaiden Animations, that's all XD

Translations:
Hermano-Spanish-Brother
Primo-Spanish-Cousin