Summer in France || 𝖩𝖤𝖭𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖠 ✔︎

twenty-one

“Lisa, can I talk to you?” Lisa looked up from the rose bush she was cutting and wiped her forehead. A grim feeling started to spread throughout her belly. A talk was never good news in her experience.

“Sure,” she said, trying to sound calm. She straightened her back, put down her garden scissors and turned to Jennie.

“Not here.” Jennie pointed to the terrace.
“Could we sit down, please?” Lisa nodded. Definitely not good news.

“What’s up, Jen?” She asked as she sat down in front of the pot of coffee Jennie had made them earlier.

“I’ve been offered a second job interview,” Jennie said. "With that firm in Singapore. I had my first interview yesterday over Skype and it went well. They just called to inform me that I got through and to tell me that the CEO is in New York at the moment. He wants to see me.” She paused and took a deep breath.

“So, I’m thinking about getting a flight out there tomorrow. It will be a lot easier if I can do the interview there, and then go to Korea straight after to pack up my things and wrap up the sale of the apartment. I figured I might as well kill two birds with one stone.” Her eyes were searching for Lisa's, but she avoided her gaze.

Lisa had imagined this moment many times, but living it was so much worse. The agonizing brick that suddenly weighed on her stomach made her feel sick as she swallowed down the lump in her throat. She tried to calm herself, but was unable to suppress the anger that welled up inside of her.

“Don’t say you’re thinking about going, Jen. You don’t need my approval for anything, it’s your life. Just tell me you’ll be gone tomorrow, there’s no point beating around the bush.” Her expression was cold, her hands balled into fists under the table. She always knew the day would come soon, but she never expected it to be tomorrow. It stung in more ways than she’d anticipated. It’s over.

“But I’ll come back,” Jennie said in a defensive tone. “We talked about this, didn’t we? Even if they offer me the job right there and then, which is highly unlikely by the way, I doubt they’ll expect me to move there straight away. There’s always a lot of paperwork involved in relocation. I’d have at least another four weeks here before I’d have to move.”

“And then what?” Lisa finally looked up and shot her a fierce look. “Then you’d be off again, and I’ll be here picking myself back up. It doesn’t work like that, Jen. I’m not just here for your convenience.”

Jennie blinked and stared at her in surprise. “I don’t understand. I thought we talked this through. I mean, I know I wasn’t supposed to leave for another three weeks, but what’s three weeks in the grand scheme of things? I know we can make this work, Lisa.”

Lisa shook her head. Who had she been kidding? This was never going to work. Jennie hadn’t even left yet, and the familiar stab of loss was already starting to spread out from her gut. She recognized the pain because she’d been through this before, and she knew there was no point in trying. Sure, she was happy with Jennie, perhaps happier than she’d ever been. But she’d also been happy with Selma and look where that got her. Three years of her life wasted on trying to get over her.

“You’re right,” she said. "We did talk this through but talking and reality are two different things.” She stood up. “I can’t do this.”

“No!” Jennie slammed her hand on the table. “You can’t just walk away, Lisa. You have to try at least. I’m willing to try.”

“How do I know you’re not going to fuck me over and run off with someone else? That you won’t meet someone who’s more suited to you?” Lisa looked at Jennie as if she was already guilty of doing just that.