12 | Defended

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Y/N

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"What the hell were you thinking?" Bucky said, putting his head in his hands, "you assaulted a student!"

As soon as Peter got out of school, we were called to Stark Tower for an emergency meeting. I guess the school called my parents sooner than I expected. Now I had to endure a lecture about how I'm out of control, or not the same.

"Buck, calm down," Steve said, patting his back.

"I'm not going to calm down," the man frowned, turning to look at me, "you promised you'd do your best at adjusting!"

"It's been one day!" I yelled back, "and do you really think I'm not trying?"

"It doesn't look like it!"

"Just stop talking," I scoffed, rolling my eyes, "you don't understand what's going on with me."

I knew Bucky wasn't trying to be mean to me, but he had too. If he wasn't going to be there to put me back in my place, I doubted anyone else would. He's always been the older brother to me, and that included fights like this.

"Let's all just take a breather," Steve interjected, waving his hands around, "this is getting too heated."

Bucky continued, "she could have killed him!"

"No, I wouldn't have killed him," I spat out.

"And how would we know? If Peter didn't show up, you might have gone farther."

Peter was sitting in the corner in fright. He looked like he was about to sink into the wall. I didn't blame him, this situation was tough to handle, but it was necessary. I turned back to Bucky, slamming my fist on the table.

"Even though I still can't control myself, the one thing I can control is that," I stated, "I made a promise that I wouldn't kill anyone ever again."

I made that promise. It was the only thing I could keep true to myself. That's why when I accidentally lash out, I never say I'll kill them. I say I'll break them. Break their arms, break their nose, just break. And I know none of it is good anyways, but if one day I can't find myself, or can't lose the other side of me, I hope I won't ever kill.

I'd just break someone, like I was broken.

They didn't seem to believe me. Bucky leaned back into his chair, shaking his head.

"If this gets out of hand," he said to Steve, "we might have to put her back under."

"Back under?" I exclaimed, "Buck what are you talking about?"

"We made a contract," he said, "to the government. if we can't get you under control, we'll have to put you back under."

No.

No, no, no, no.

I already lost my entire life when I first went back under, and I'm not doing it again. If I do, I'm scared I won't ever wake up.

"You're making it seem like I did something horrible!" I pleaded, "I just told him to watch his mouth!"

"But you could have killed him!"

"NO I WOULDN'T HAVE!"

When I screamed, I saw Peter sit straighter in alarm. He seemed worried.

"[y/n], don't worry about it," Steve tried to assure, "it would only be for a month, or so."

"A MONTH?"

"Maybe less than that."

"You're just going to let them do that to me?" I begged, "you didn't even fight for me, did you Bucky? Steve?"

Neither of them responded, staring at the table.

"Oh my god," I continued, pressing my hand into a fist, "you're both soldiers, and you couldn't even fight for your friend."

"It would be safer for everyone," Steve said softly, "if there's a point in time where you lose your sense of stability, we could have prevented that."

"But I haven't lost my sense of stability!"

"Then why'd you threaten that kid?"

I was about to respond, when I heard someone clear their throat. Peter stood up, slowly approaching the table. It was the first time he had dared to speak during our visit to the tower.

"I know it's not my place to say anything," he said, "but [y/n]'s right."

What was he talking about?

"The only reason she threatened Flash, was because he was dragging your name through the mud," Peter explained, "even though she knew she'd get in trouble, she fought for your respect and name. She's getting better, I can sense it, just don't do this to her."

I stared at Peter, unsure of what to say. I had never seen him look so serious, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. His puppy dog eyes were gone.

But he was just a kid, what was he going to do?

I couldn't even do anything. I needed space, and I needed to get out of here. Spinning on my heels, I stormed out of the room, my cheeks burning. I thought Steve and Bucky trusted me. Trusted me enough to know I was trying to change.

Maybe I really did change. Maybe I changed, but the rest of the world didn't. They still think the same thing about me.

So whenever someone sees that red star, they see Hydra.

Even my best friends.

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