Just Kids | Peter Parker

31 | Devil's Anus

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"It's just another spaceship," Thor mumbled to himself, before sending us full throttle out of the loading dock.

Well, if it was just another spaceship, it wouldn't have no seatbelts, no weaponry, and it WOULDN'T HAVE THROWN ME INTO THE WINDOW! As I rolled back onto the ground, I let out a groan in pain. I felt like a pancake that accidentally flew out of a pan and into a wall. Then onto the floor.

"You actually suck at driving," I hissed, wobbling onto my feet, "I thought you were supposed to be a god, or something?"

"I'm the God of Thunder," the man corrected, "not the god of flying spaceships."

"Well, only one of those gods are useful right now."

Plopping down into the passenger chair, I gripped the chair in fear as Thor made a sharp turn. I'd been in Space for a year now, planet-skipping and whatnot, but I definitely would not get used to flying in a spaceship. It was like driving a roller coaster backwards, through water, and then upside down.

"Open the doors," Valkyrie's voice echoed in through the comms, "I'm coming up."

Flipping one of the switches, I felt the hum of the ship's middle slide open. A few seconds later, Banner got tossed in like a rag doll.

"Where's Val?" I questioned, getting out of my seat to help the flimsy scientist, "I thought she was coming with us."

Before Bruce could respond, I heard her voice come in through the speaker again, "I'll be up as soon as I kill these idiots behind us."

"What idiots?" Banner gasped, "there are idi-"

He was cut off by the sound of phasers ricocheting off of our ship's skeleton. There was a bit of turbulence, but then we went stable again.

"Shouldn't we be firing back at them?" He gasped again.

"Stop worrying so much, Banner," I sighed, "I thought you like all this space-stuff."

"I like SCIENCE, not GETTING KILLED!"

"Okay, jeez, chill," I huffed, turning back to the piloting area, "Thor, why aren't we firing back?"

The god shrugged, "I can't find the guns."

"What?" Bruce and I both yelled in unison.

"There aren't any guns," Val explained, "it's a leisure vessel."

This time, all three of us yelled, "A WHAT?"

"Grandmaster uses it for his good times, you know, like ****** and stuff."

Suddenly I froze up, my body tingling in disgust. I was just previously thrown against the window a few minutes ago. I touched the window. The window where other stuff had also been supposedly thrown. Gagging, I tied my hair back in order to stop it from accidentally getting stuck in an unknown substance.

"Did she just say ******?" Banner whimpered.

"Yeah," Thor sighed," don't touch anything."

Taking his advice in full, I decided to stand for the rest of the flight. Who knows what was on my chair... ew! A few more shots were fired from the other ships, but thankfully Valkyrie had our backs with her own ship.

"Head for the Anus," I said, pointing towards the giant red vortex in front of us, "we need to get out of here as soon as possible."

"It's a little hard, considering half of the city's chasing us," Thor grunted.

Suddenly there was a huge explosion, followed by a crash on top of our ship. Val's head poked out onto the windshield, giving me a thumbs up.

"Get inside!" I yelled at her.

She grinned, flashing me her pearly smile,  "in a minute!"

Leaping off, she crashed onto another ship and began to tear it apart, ripping the coils out of the structure. Once that ship crashed, she jumped onto another one, repeating the same actions as before.

"I should probably go and help," Thor said, getting out of his chair, "here, take the wheel."

Picking Banner up with one hand, he placed him into the driver's seat like a doll. Jeez, I kept forgetting how strong Gods were.

"No, no," Bruce whined, "I don't know how to fly one of these!"

"You're a scientist, use one of your PHDs."

"None of them are for flying alien spaceships!"

"Okay, move over," I huffed, pushing the two men out of the way, "I'm driving."

Did I know how to fly this ship? No. But I knew how to fly a ship. Like a general ship. One with guns and whatnot, so this should be easy to replicate.

As Thor jumped out of the ship to help, Banner clambered into the passenger seat, watching me with a nervous expression. Clearly he didn't believe I knew what I was I was doing.

"Stop looking at me like that," I scoffed, "you're going to make me crash the ship."

"You look like you're about to do that already."

"Frick' off, Banner," I said through gritted teeth, pulling on the wheel to lift the ship higher.

Like a synchronized move of choreography, just as I began to make the incline, Thor and Valkyrie jumped on board, the ship's doors closing right behind them. Dang, that looked cool.

"So you can fly a ship," Val teased, walking over to me, "I always thought you were just a stowaway with a metal arm."

"And I always thought you were just a hot bounty-hunter with a temper," I shot back, a smile on my fact, "and a horrible addiction to beer."

"Oh, so you think I'm hot?"

"And an alcoholic, but who's judging?"

"Right," Thor cut in, scratching the back of his neck, "hate to ruin--whatever conversation--- you guys are having, but can we get out of Sakaar now?"

Nodding my head, I placed my hand on the warp control, and we went shooting into the trash hole with incredible speed.

Now it was Thor's turn to fly into the window.