Shared Secrets

Chapter 14

Warnings: language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of violence

Tom's POV

It is well after 3 in the morning by the time I pull up to Grace's house. I look over to her goddamn beautiful face as she fights to stay awake in the passenger seat. What happened at the diner has never fucking happened to me before. Asking her to trust me, feeling like she's holding all the cards. I took a huge fucking risk tonight. God, I don't know what it is, but every fucking time I'm even thinking about Grace I lose my goddamn mind. I don't fucking take uncalculated risks. So why do I keep fucking doing that when it comes to Grace? I get out of the car and jog around to the passenger side door to help her out.

"Alright, Grace? We're here," I say gently, taking her arm and placing it around my shoulder to help her out of the car.

Her beautiful eyes look up at me dazedly. "Where is here?" she asks groggily, attempting to stifle a yawn.

"We're at your house, love," I respond. Grace leans her perfect fucking body against me as we approach her front door. All I want to do is just run my hands all over her fucking flawless skin as she moans my name. I've wanted that since god knows fucking when, but she's too fucking smashed for me to initiate anything. My first time with Grace is not going to be when she is fucking plastered; when she won't even remember any of it. And I want her to remember every goddamn detail. I'll wait, forever if I fucking have to, until she gives me consent.

Grace hands me her keys and I open the front door. The house is dark and blessedly quiet. The last thing I'd want to fucking deal with is all the bloody questions her roommates would undoubtedly fire at me. "Come on, I'll take you to your room." Grace nods, placing an arm around my neck. I lift her up holding her as close as I can while I carry her up the stairs and into her room. I place her down gently as I look around her exceptionally tidy room. Of course, Grace. Just as organized as always. Even as a kid her room was never fucking messy. "Alright, well then, if you're all good I'll head out," I say.

"Can you-can you stay?" She whispers looking up at me with her big beautiful eyes. "Nia is pulling an all-nighter at the university library and Jenny is home for the weekend with Chester. And I-I just don't like being home all alone." She looks down shyly, a blush creeping into her goddamn flawless face. God, Grace you don't have to be so bloody shy. You don't know how long I've fucking waited to hear you say that you need me.

"Of course," I can't fucking help myself and I take her face in my hand, gently rubbing my thumb across her perfect cheek. "I'll go sleep on your living room sofa." I give her a light kiss on the forehead and start to make my way towards her bedroom door.

"Wait Tom," she grabs my hand making my heart absolutely fucking melt. "Stay with me, please." She whispers the last part, looking at me nervously like she doesn't want to be left alone. God she looks so fucking small and innocent standing in front of me asking me to stay with her. I want nothing more than to erase her entire fucking memory of that fucking twat and all that fucking happened tonight. I can't fucking stand to think of her sad, scared, or anxious and I know exactly what is going on inside that perfect fucking head of hers. Despite her inebriated state she still manages to overthink fucking everything even asking me to stay the night with her. God Grace you could tell me to go sleep outside on the fucking porch and I'd fucking do it.

"Of course, Grace," I whisper back. Relief washes over her features and she gives me the smallest of smiles. She takes a step back, letting go of my hand, much to my dismay. I have to restrain myself from grabbing her hand again and pulling her towards me and just never letting go. She stumbles around her room a bit as she gets herself ready for bed. I take that as my cue to step out and give her some privacy.

After using the bathroom I head back into Grace's room to find her lying in her bed, her breathing even. Fuck, she looks so goddamn beautiful. I walk over to the other side of the bed and lie down next to her. I've imagined moments like this with Grace a million times in a million different ways, but Jesus nothing compares to actually fucking being here- lying next to the girl I've been in love with for fucking ever. I'm not exactly fucking thrilled about the events leading up to this moment, but seeing Grace next to me, safe and warm, puts my heart at ease.

I switch the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. I feel Grace roll over in the bed so that she is facing me. "Tom?" she whispers, shifting herself closer towards me.

"Hmm," I respond, moving closer towards her, as well. Our bodies are practically touching. I'm losing my fucking mind trying to stop myself from pulling her towards me.

"Thank you." I feel her arms wrap around me in a soft hug. God she's better than anything I've ever imagined. I pull her impossibly closer and wrap my arms around her never wanting to let go. God, how does she fucking do it? How does she have such a fucking hold over me? It doesn't take long for Grace to fall asleep, still wrapped in my arms, where I know she's safe. Lying here with Grace I can almost forget all of the lies, all of the carnage, all of the fucking bullshit I've had to deal with. Almost.

It fucking breaks my heart to think about all the bloody secrets I have to keep from her. She doesn't fucking deserve that. She deserves someone a thousand times better than me. Someone who doesn't have to keep an entire fucking part of his life hidden from her. But I'm too fucking selfish to give her up. She's my addiction, my obsession. The girl I have been in love with since I was fucking five years old. I wish things could be different. I wish I could just live a fucking normal life with Grace. But I can't give up everything my father built. I can't fucking do that to him, to Harrison, to myself.

Grace shifts around next to me breaking me from my thoughts. God she is perfect. I place a small kiss on the top of her head smiling to myself knowing that at least for now, at least for this one fucking perfect moment, I can pretend like everything will be ok.

I wake to the sound of birds chirping super fucking loudly right outside of the window. I don't know how Grace deals with that every fucking morning. I look over to see her perfect fucking body wrapped up in the covers sound asleep. She looks fucking stunning even in her oversized pyjamas. I send off a quick text to Harrison letting him know not to fucking worry about me. Thank fucking god he's been distracted lately with getting the Tap House Bar up and running otherwise he would be on my ass the entire night. Grace sighs next to me. I smile once again to myself as I settle back down next to her, pulling her back into my chest and drifting off to sleep once more.

When I wake up for the second time that morning Grace's side of the bed is empty. I wait a few minutes to see if she comes back into her bedroom, but when she doesn't I decide to go find her. I hear someone downstairs and when I walk down there I find Grace making something in the kitchen. "Goodmorning," she says, spotting me watching her from the doorway. Jesus, she is gorgeous.

"Morning, darling" I croak, my voice still raspy from sleep. She flashes me her beautiful fucking smile as I walk in and sit down at the counter across from her.

"I hope you're hungry because I made way too many pancakes," she chirps, placing a plate and utensils in front of me before sitting down next to me. We eat in comfortable silence and I thank fucking god yet again that her fucking roommates aren't here to ruin the fucking mood.

I want to ask her what she remembers from last night. I reckon its not much considering how fucking smashed she was. But, I'm going to take her lead on this one. If she wants to talk about what happened I'll let her bring it up. God, this is fucking uncharted territory for me. No one has ever had this much power over me and the killer of it is that she has no bloody idea.

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