Best Friends With The Bad Boy ✓

22 - New Feelings

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE IS MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER 

Boisterous laughter filled the classroom, but Mr Hartley, our chemistry teacher, seemed heavily unimpressed with Benji's joke that had started it.

"I'd appreciate if you kept any more comments to yourself, Benjamin." Mr Hartley told him sternly, but he had an amused look on his face. Benjamin nodded with a serious expression, but his face split into a cute grin when our teacher turned back to the board.

I felt myself immediately smile back, his smile was infectious, but mine was slightly forced. Benji must have caught on because he turned in his seat slightly.

"You alright?" He asked softly. I bit my lip and nodded. I was lying.

Almost three years ago on this exact day was when my mum first mentioned Dave to me. How she had been seeing someone, romantically. And how she thought she really liked him.

The first emotion I felt was wariness. I don't why but some part of me assumed my mum wouldn't be interested in another man romantically after my dad's death. I was very young when he died but I was still sensitive about it. The second emotion I felt was genuine happiness. I wasn't going to live with my mum forever, and ever since Amber moved out I knew she'd felt a bit more lonely, even with me in the house. If a man could make her half as happy as my dad did, then I was fine with it.

I remembered her asking how I felt about it. I'd smiled and told her truth, that I didn't mind, anything to make her happy.

And for a period of time, she was. All thanks to Dave.

I often thought back to that day, wondering if I could have made things go differently. If I got angry at the idea of her dating anyone else other than my dad, or burst into my tears and wailed about her possibly replacing my dad. If I guilt-tripped her so she wouldn't date him.

Would we have still moved to Australia?

Would their relationship have ended in betrayal and disgust?

Would I feel guilt and shame every time I looked at myself in the mirror?

I sighed, slouching in my seat and fiddling with my pen. There was no point thinking of if things could have gone differently. The past was set in stone and I had to accept it and move on.

With that thought spurring me on, I decided to attempt the exam question Sir had wrote on the board. Then I realised I had no idea what the answer was, probably because I'd zoned out for the last five minutes.

I glanced at Benji who was writing at a fast pace in his notebook. I shifted my stance towards him, tapping his shoulder.

"Hey," I started with a charming smile. He simply raised an eyebrow. "Do you mind if I copy your answer?"

"My answer?" He repeated, eyebrows furrowed, and then looked at his notebook in realization.

"Oh, this is my Spanish homework due later today." Benji told me with a sheepish smile. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smile in amusement.

"Well, do you know the answer to the question on the board?" I asked, fiddling with my pen. "I feel like Sir is going to pick on me."

"Miss Woods!" Mr Hartley's loud voice boomed through the classroom. "Since you're having a conversation with Benjamin, I'm assuming you know the answer. In five minutes I expect a full response from you."

I gave Benji a pointed look and he chuckled slightly. "Fine, let's look for the answer in my textbook together."

That's what we did for the next five minutes, with me messily writing an answer in my notebook. I wasn't too bothered if it was right or not, as long as I had something tangible, I wouldn't be made a fool of in front of the class.