Taylor

Chapter Sixteen

It had been a week since I apologized to Emily and Luke and I spent the time avoiding them at all costs. I just needed some time to figure stuff out. But it seemed like every couple of days someone was knocking on my door, which is why I had decided to go hiking, so no one could bother me. Of course, that wasn't the real reason. The true solitude was something I desperately needed.

It wasn't that I was trying to avoid them, but I needed time to process things. I wanted to get help, I didn't want to hurt anyone else. But I wasn't sure how to start. Talking to someone was the last thing I wanted—I knew I needed it though. The process of having to find someone I could click with that didn't make me want to punch them was going to be annoying. It was hard the first time and I was sure it would be just as hard the second.

"Help!" A voice screamed from farther up the trail.

My pace increased to a full-blown run. I went around the bend and almost collided with a frantic kid.

"Please! He's hurt!"

"Where's he at?"

"The boulder! He's at the boulder!"

"Go call 911!" I shot off toward the boulder, glad I had gone here a lot as a kid and knew what he was talking about.

When I reached the boulder within the half-dome wall, I slid to a halt. Another boy in his mid-teens lay at the base of the 15-foot boulder. His leg was broken at the knee, exposing the bone, and blood was pooling around his head. I took my shirt off and ripped it so I could tie it tightly around his thigh, just above his knee. Using a stick as a tourniquet, I twisted it until it was tight enough to help slow the blood loss.

"Shit," I mumbled as I looked over the scrawny kid. There wasn't anything else I could do for him; hopefully, his friend was able to get help. What I wondered was why these kids hadn't been in school. Ten minutes passed by before I heard running footsteps along the trail. The boy I had almost collided with came into the half-dome and kneeled beside the injured boy.

"What happened?"

"He stepped off the boulder by accident." The boy's shoulders were slumped as he scooted closer to his friend. "Is he going to be okay?"

"I hope so. It looks pretty bad." I knew as soon as his face fell that those were not the right words to use. "I'm sure he'll be fine, kid."

"It's my fault," he says quietly. "I forced him to go hiking."

"Did you force him off the boulder?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Then it's not your fault."

He stared at me unconvinced and I shrugged. I wasn't going to waste my time trying to convince him if he were bent on blaming himself. "Why aren't you guys in school?"

"He was having a rough day."

That was something I understood. I had skipped my fair share of days for the same reason.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" He asked me, his eyes gesturing the tourniquet.

"In the military."

"Oh, what branch are you?"

"I was in the Marines."

"How long did you serve?"

"Long enough."

Catching my drift, he dropped the subject. We remained quiet as I stayed with the two until EMTs arrived to carry the boy away.

"Thanks for helping." The boy offered his hand and I took it.

"Of course."

He shook my hand then followed after the EMTs. I sure hoped the kid would be okay. My eyes shifted to the blood on the ground for a split second but I quickly turned and headed back, forcing myself to think about something other than the blood because there was no way that wouldn't set me off. My hike continued, as did my thought process on therapy and my avoidance of thinking about what had just happened.

It would be easier to just leave and stay to myself—and a part of me almost preferred that option—but the other part of me missed what I once had here. Not just with Luke, but with everyone. Sara, who wasn't even around now, Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, even Sabrina was nice to be around. I wanted normal. Not fucked up.

I stopped walking.

Did I really want to relive my past, though? Wasn't that why I had quit the first time? It had been too much. So, why wouldn't it be too much this time? My heart began to thud a little harder in my chest. It would be too much—just thinking about it was too much. Which meant I was done thinking about it. My mind went to Emily instead. How could she be so forgiving of what I had done? Because she knew what was wrong with me. I frowned.

They all did.

~*~

On my way home, I swung by the hospital to see if I could find out anything about the boy; I wanted—maybe even needed—to know he was okay. The woman up front made a phone call and the boy's mother came to meet me. The moment she got close enough, she hugged me for a brief moment before stepping away.

"The doctor said he probably wouldn't have made it if the blood loss hadn't been slowed down... thank you."

That meant he was going to be fine. I let out a sigh of relief and smiled slightly. "I'm glad he's going to be okay."

"How can I repay you? I feel like... I should do something for you. My son is alive because of you. You... you deserve something."

I shook my head quickly. "It would be appalling if I needed payment for doing the right thing."

She smiled and hugged me once again. "What about dinner? Tomorrow night? My husband is making steaks and I'm sure my son would love to meet you."

"Um—"

"Please don't say no. If you don't come, it's just going to weigh on my mind that I didn't do something to show my gratitude. Please."

She looked hopeful and anxious and I couldn't seem to stop myself from saying, "Okay, fine. Tomorrow for dinner."

She beamed at me and asked the front desk for a piece of paper and pen where she scribbled her address and what time. I had only wanted to make sure the kid had made it, not get roped into some kind of dinner event. It was too late now unless I didn't show up, which was tempting.

After saying goodbye, I left the hospital and went back home. I was still unsure of whether I was ready to see a therapist, or if it would be better to be somewhere alone. The hike hadn't helped me think at all. All I still knew was that, while things being semi-normal again sounded way better, I wasn't sure it was worth being forced to relive what had happened.

I wasn't sure anything would be worth that.

A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter than I normally try to reach, and I'm sorry about that. This week has been full of the dreaded writer's block!