Save Me a Spark | Reader x Ben Solo / Kylo Ren

Ch. 8 | Take on the World

Just say the word, we'll take on the world
Just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst
I can see, see the pain in your eyes
Oh, believe, believe me and I have tried
No I won't, I won't pretend to know what you've been through
You should've known, I wish it was me, not you
And just say the word, we'll take on the world
And just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst
Nobody knows you, the way that I know you
Look in my eyes, I will never desert you
And just say the word, we'll take on the world
And it's the fight, and the fight of our lives
You and I, we were made to thrive
And I am your future, I am your past
Never forget that we were built to last
Step out of the shadows and into my life
Silence the voices that haunt you inside
We'll fight, we'll crawl into the night
Our world, we'll go, with you by my side
The calm, the storm, we'll face it all

You Me At Six - Take on the World

*******

One week. It only takes one week before Ben starts to think he's actually going to lose his mind. He's weaker than he originally thought. Once again, Snoke is right. He has no intention of divulging any First Order secrets. He isn't going to give them any information even if he does start to lose his sanity. He's going to die in the cell or be executed, there's no way he will give them the satisfaction of knowing they won.

The battle he's fighting (and losing), is all inside his head, and there's no one that can help him. The voices he's heard since he was younger have come back with a vengeance, and they're louder and more cruel than ever before.

They seem to grow the loudest whenever he tries to sleep. The only time he manages to get a reprieve is at night when he connects with you and spends hours leaning against the wall across from your bed. The voices usually leave him alone when he's near you. Usually, but not always. He knows it's creepy but sitting on the uncomfortable floor, watching your chest rise and fall with every relaxed breath you take, relaxes him.

He stays as long as the Force allows the two of you to be connected, or until you stir. The first time he connected to you through the Force was while you were on Tatooine. It was merely a glimpse and it was one sided. He could see you but you couldn't see him. Now that he's had nothing but time to practice, he can connect with you on demand. He's not sure whether or not you can see him now and he's afraid to find out.

Each night he sits across from you he tells himself that it will be the last night he does it. He's violating your privacy and it isn't right, especially since the last time you spoke you made it quite clear you're done with him.

The last conversation you had is something he's played on repeat in his mind, along with everything else you've told him since meeting him now that he knows identity of your father. Obi-Wan Kenobi, his mother's only hope, the man he was named after, the Jedi Master that trained his uncle. He was your adopted father and he doesn't understand how that's possible. If Obi-Wan was your father that means the Force is what brought you to him, but why? He wants answers as badly as you do but he knows it's unlikely he'll get them.

There is no way you'll agree to see to him again, not after what he said to you. What he said was cruel, even for him.

Ben hasn't uttered the phrase "I'm sorry" for years and he's not sure how the words would even roll off his tongue. He doesn't like to admit he's wrong because he rarely thinks he is. This time he would make an exception before you figure out why you're here and leave without a backwards glance.