Faith, Hope, Wisdom

Am I Born Again?

Am I born again? This was a question I struggled with at a point in my life.

Was I born again? I believed I was. I knew who Jesus was and believed in Him, I prayed, I believed I loved Him, well I wasn't too sure if I loved Him, but I liked to think I did. I also did what was right, or in other words, I didn't do things that the society viewed as wrong.
But if I believed all these, why was I doubting if I was born again? Why wasn't I sure?

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I was born and brought up in a Christian home, so I knew about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I attended Church, did the basic things you find a Christian doing and accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour at a young age. However, when I grew older, I realised I was more of a moralist than a true Christian. I lacked that fellowship with God and that's why I always questioned myself. I found it really difficult to spend five minutes daily with God either by praying or reading my bible, so I just remained a baby Christian.

So yes, I was actually born again, because I believed Jesus was the Son of God who died for my sins, but I was a lukewarm Christian who still liked pleasing my flesh and didn't really enjoy fellowship with God. I let my flesh dominate my spirit and didn't practice Romans 12:2 which says "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

You are transformed to who you should be in Christ by renewing your mind, and you renew your mind by reading the Bible. But, I wasn't doing that. And the more I didn't do that, the more I was conforming myself to the world. As a Christian, we need to understand that we can't remain in one position spiritually, it's either we are growing or backsliding.
So when I stopped reading my Bible, praying, and spending time with God in general, I started backsliding, although I didn't know, I thought the Sundays I went to Church were enough to make me grow.

Then in Church, or wherever, when people talked about their salvation experience, how they've changed and have this joy in them, I always had nothing to say. I couldn't feel the joy of the Holy Spirit in me and doubted my spirituality even more.

But as time went on, I continued going to Church and met some people who encouraged me, then a craving developed in my heart, a craving to actually know God more. I craved for a fellowship with God, I wanted to experience Him more, and that's what I did. Since I wasn't sure at the time if I was born again, I decided to get born again, again (no there's nothing like that, you only get born again once), more like, I rededicated my life to God, and since then, wow guys, I have seen a massive improvement in my life.

I consciously started walking with God. And guys, don't just think your Christianity stops at you being born again! After giving your life to Christ, you need to make a conscious effort to live according to His will, to deny your flesh, to pray, and to fellowship with Him. But don't worry, you now have the Holy Spirit who helps you to do all these things. (John 14:26- But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.). For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. (Philippians 2:13), so we don't have anything to worry about because God gives us the grace to do His will.

So if you have been in my boat before or you are still in the same boat, why not start over, rededicate your life to God, and actually make conscious efforts. Remember you are not alone, God loves you, and nothing can separate you from His love.