The Height of Fame

Chapter 5

I'm sitting on the couch in the dressing room going through the set list in my head. Even though they're taped to the floor on the stage and I've had it memorized since Wednesday, I study it religiously. Maybe it's the two Adderalls that I took before we came to the venue. 

Christina and Amy are practicing the dances on one side of the room, Lisa is doing vocal warm ups, the first time she's used her voice in two days, Dani is...actually I'm not really sure what Dani is doing. Some sort of weird pump up dance moves in the corner. Kath comes out of the bathroom and sits next to me on the couch. 

"Didn't you already memorize that?" she asks. 

"Yeah. But you know...," I trail off. 

"Breathe Laur. When you step on stage, it's like you belong up there. Everyone can see it. I know I can. You'll be fine," she says. 

"I know. I'm going to the bathroom." 

I get off the couch and lock myself into the single use bathroom in our dressing room. There's a mirror and I study myself for a second. The makeup is hiding the dark circles under my eyes but they still look sunken in. I sigh and pull out my dab pen before ripping it a few times. 

I start to feel a buzz but I don't stop until my head is spinning slightly and I have to focus on my breathing to make sure I get enough air. I flush the toilet and wash my hands for show before stepping back out. 

You good? Lisa mouths to me as I reappear. I nod back. 

"Just focused," I say. 

I sit back down on the couch and close my eyes. It feels like I'm floating on a cloud somewhere. The couch is where I remain until Trevor comes into the room to tell us the Twin Peaks, our opening act, had just wrapped up their set. We met the band yesterday night when we had a crew dinner with everyone. 

They're originally from Portland and they've been with our label for a year now.  They also just released an album that's been doing fairly well so they got signed on as the opening act. They consist of Connor, their lead singer, Clarke, their bassist, Eric, their guitarist and Noah, their drummer. All of them are either eighteen or nineteen and they seem like cool people.  

"Time to head backstage," he announces. 

I half-stumble, half-follow everyone out of the room. 

I'm really going to have to concentrate, I think. Luckily, I can still feel the Adderall. 

It takes a few minutes for us to make our way backstage to where the rest of the crew is waiting for us. Without even getting on stage, the roar of the crowd is ground shaking. My stomach churns as I shift uncomfortably, just wanting to rush out onto the stage and start. 

Jared, one of the sound technicians, comes over to me and helps me with my ears and mic pack, while five others do the same for my sisters. 

"Alright guys! This is the moment we've all been waiting for. Remember, high energy! Engage with the crowd! Sing your hearts out! Let's have this be a great opening show!" Trevor shouts. 

Christina tells everyone to join hands and we all bow our heads as she leads a prayer. 

"God, please watch over us as we embark on this great new journey. Please allow every person at this show tonight the ability to connect and feel as though they belong and are accepted. Thank you for this opportunity and for continuing to watch over us and bless us." 

We all say Amen and the crew kicks it into high gear. 

"Katherine, Amy and Dani with me this way!" Jared shouts. 

"You three follow me!" Nikki, another stagehand, says to Christina, Lisa and I. 

The lights in the stadium go out and I hear our intro video start to play. Nikki leads us to the left entrance of the stage and has us stand in order from oldest to youngest. My heart starts to race as the video gets closer to its end so I start to recite the set list in my head again, trying to distract my mind. 

Christina is bouncing on her feet, ready to pounce out in front of the crowd. The video cuts out and the stage is lit up with a million spotlights. 

"Go! Go! Go!" Nikki shouts at Christina. 

"Hey I'm Christina!" her voice echoes throughout the stadium as she jumps on stage. 

"I'm Katherine!" 

"Go Lisa!" 

"I'm Lisa!" 

"I'm Amy!" 

"Go Lauren!" 

I take a step forward but stop. Sensing my hesitation, Nikki comes up behind me and shoves me forward. I stumble onto the stage and bring my mic to my mouth. 

"I'm Lauren!" I choke out. 

"And I'm Dani!" 

We all come together in the middle of the stage. 

"And we're Cimorelli!"