The Height of Fame

Chapter 13

I stumble out of Taylor's car and make my way into the house. The two of us doused ourselves in body spray and drove with the windows down to air out the stench of the weed. I'm still floating in the euphoric bliss that the pill brought me. I have to concentrate extremely hard to keep one foot in front of the other without tripping. 

The multitude of conversations that are being shouted through out the house hurts my brain as I walk through the front door. 

"Mom! I'm home!" I shout. 

"In the kitchen!" she shouts back. I push my way through Joey and Nick's wrestling match and head to the kitchen. My mom and Katherine are both tending to multiple things on the stove and in the oven. 

"Smells good," I say, giving my mom a hug. 

I grab a water from the fridge and chug half of it, trying to quench my thirst before sitting down at the table in my usual spot. I pull out my phone, which I've ignored all day, to see three texts from Connor. 

So we're dating now?  Can't say I'm going to complain about it. 

You know it's not polite to ignore your fictional boyfriend

Sorry that was stupid. I'm an idiot. 

I smile to myself and type a quick response. 

That wasn't stupid. It was cute.

And you aren't an idiot. 

"Laur, Dani. Come help set the table," my mom instructs. I stumble out of my chair a little too clumsily, almost falling and having to catch myself on the end on the table. 

"Woah, you good?" Dani asks coming up from behind me. 

"Yeah." I flash her a reassuring smile. I grab the plates and silverware while Dani helps Katherine move the food over to the table. 

"Dinner!" mom shouts. 

I rush back to my seat as the other twelve members of my family plus Nick scramble to take their seats. I bow my head as dad says grace then the real chaos ensues. Everyone fights to get food on their plate as the conversations start again. 

I keep to myself and pick at the chicken on my plate, not really hungry despite not eating all day. It must be the pill I took. I'm so entranced in trying to stay hidden that I don't notice the conversations die down as everyone stares at me. 

"Laureeeeeen?" Christina calls. 

I snap my head up, panic filling my chest. 

"Sorry, what?" I ask. 

"We were talking about your new boyfriend," Dani says teasingly. 

"He's not my boyfriend! Why does everyone keep saying that?" I groan. 

"Maybe because you're face is turning red," Alex says smiling. 

"It is not!" I say defensively. 

"So who is this guy?" my dad asks. 

"He's no one dad." 

"He's the singer for our opening act. He's cute," Dani chimes in. I shoot her a glare across the table. 

"Not. Helping." My little sister just shrugs. 

"Is he a good guy?" mom asks. 

"Seems to be. He's nineteen though," Lisa responds. 

"Nineteen?" Michael says questioningly. 

"Lord help me," I mutter under my breath. 

"Just be careful Laur," dad warns. 

"Dad there's nothing to be careful about. We're just friends." 

"Tell it to the tabloids," my brother Nick says smugly. 

"Shut up Nick," I snap at him. 

"You shut up," he shoots back. 

"Children, enough!" mom shouts from her head of the table. I go back to picking at the chicken on my plate as the room goes quiet. 

"The tour is getting great reviews. You girls are doing really good," Nick, Christina's fiance, says trying to smooth out the tension. It seems to do the trick as everyone shifts to the new topic of conversation. I make a mental note to thank him later. 

Dinner finishes up and I manage to stay invisible for the rest of it. I get up to help Amy clear away the plates and do the dishes as the boys box up the few leftovers. 

"You okay?" Amy says once it's just the two of us in the kitchen. 

"I'm fine," I mumble. Another wave of warmth rushes over me as I rinse off the plates and hand it to Amy to load the dishwasher. 

"Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset," Amy tries again. 

"Amy, I said I'm fine." 

It comes out harsher than I mean it to. Amy flinches at my tone. 

"Sorry," I add after a few seconds have passed. 

"It's fine. If you want to talk just let me know." 

I hand her the last plate, dry my hands off and go out onto the back patio, trying to escape from everyone else. I've only been out there for five minutes when I hear the back door open and my mom sits in the chair across from me. She studies me carefully for a minute before talking. 

"What's going on in that head of yours?" she asks. 

"Nothing mom." 

"Come on Laur. First you snapped at Nick and now at Amy. Talk." 

I sigh. "I just want everyone to leave me alone." 

Mom laughs. "Sweetie, you're in the wrong family for that. Don't take it too hard. They're just looking out for you." 

"Sometimes I wish they wouldn't." 

My mom weighs my words for a second. 

"You don't really mean that," she finally decides. 

"Yes. I do. I love them but sometimes I just need my life to be my life and no one else's." 

"I get that but one day you'll realize how lucky you are that they're so invested. Not everyone gets that in life," she says quietly. 

"I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed." 

I stand up, tripping on the leg of the chair. My mom jumps up and steadies me. 

"You sure there's nothing else going on?" she asks me concerned. 

"I'm fine mom. I just want to be alone," I lie. 

She studies my face again, looking for a crack to pry open. I stare at her coolly, determined not to break my facade. I leave her standing on the back porch and stomp up to my room, ignoring Joey's requests for me to join them in their board game. 

When I get there, I promptly close the door behind me and swallow the other pill that's sitting in my pocket. I collapse on my bed, willing it to absorb into my bloodstream faster and take me back to the place of mental bliss.