The Height of Fame

Chapter 12

We've been at Jackson's house for a couple hours already. Between the three of us, we've smoked two bowls and three joints. The air in his apartment hangs around us in a haze. 

"How's the tour going Lauren?" Jackson asks me as Taylor hands him the joint she just lit. 

"Good. Almost all the shows we've been playing are sold out and our album is at number one right now. Fans have been crazy." 

Jackson takes another hit before passing it to me. I hit it twice and pass it off to Taylor. My head is spinning. "I'm good guys. I've got family dinner later," I say leaning back. 

"How are you doing on carts?" Jackson asks as he gets the joint back. 

"Dangerously low. They haven't been working too great to be honest." 

"They not good?" 

"No, they're good. They just aren't relaxing me like they used too. I'm still getting really anxious," I explain. 

Jackson nods, pondering my words for a bit. Taylor smacks him to get his attention and the joint back. 

"I got some stronger shit if you want but I ain't pushing. I'm just offering," he says. 

"What kind of shit?" Taylor asks leaning forward. 

"I just got a whole batch of Oxy fifteens. Take that with the Addy and you'll feel just fine." 

I shift uneasily in my seat as Taylor looks at me excited. My stomach churns, telling me this isn't a good idea. Taylor can read it on my face. 

"Come on Laur, it'll be fun. Look, we can get a couple right now, see how you like it and then we can pick up more before you leave again," she suggests. 

"I don't know Tay," I say unsure. All I can picture right now is Christina screaming at me that I'm being incredibly stupid. 

"I'll pay for the first few?" she offers. I sigh and weigh my options. Keep going now with just the weed and Adderall and hope for the best or take Jackson's offer and hopefully find a little more peace. 

"Alright," I say caving. Taylor claps, giddy with excitement as Jackson gets up and goes to his bedroom to grab the pills. 

"What time is it?" I ask Taylor. 

"Just past five. What time do we have to leave?" 

"Six thirty to be safe. I'll hear about it if I'm late." 

Jackson comes back out and hands me a small bag with four pills inside. "Fifteen a piece," he says to Taylor. She hands him the cash as I tip one of the pills into my hand, studying it. Without thinking too much, I quickly put it in my mouth and chug it down with water. Taylor goes to grab the bag but I hold it out of reach. 

"No no no. You drove," I remind her. She pouts a little, then relights the joint taking a deep hit. 

"You gonna be able to keep it together through family dinner?" she asks chuckling. 

"Shoot. I didn't think about that. I'll be fine. There's a lot of us, it's easy to blend in." 

And that's the beautiful truth about having a big family. When you don't want to be noticed, it was easy to disappear into the background noise of everyone else. I'd been doing it most of my life so tonight would be no different. 

I sink back into the couch and listen to Jackson and Taylor ramble on about their lives. Taylor has been pulling three doubles and two closes a week at the supermarket to try and save up as much as possible before school starts back up. I'm glad I graduated last year. Jackson has been fighting with his mom. Something about showing up to her house smelling like weed. 

Within thirty minutes, I start to feel the effects of the pill. First it feels like everything is slowing down as a burst of warmth spreads through my chest and out to my extremities. I notice that it feels like it's getting harder to breathe. I begin to panic but I force myself to slow down. I am not having a panic attack on Jackson's couch. 

A few minutes go by and the tension in my chest starts to ease as I focus on taking even breaths. Then it hits me. The pain free, ignorant bliss. I feel ecstatically relaxed. More than I ever have in my whole life. 

"Holy shit," I mumble. 

Taylor and Jackson both stop their conversation and look at me. 

"Did she just curse?" Taylor asks Jackson. 

"Yeah," he says chuckling. 

"She never curses," Taylor responds shocked. They both stare at me and the stupid smile on my face. 

"You guys are freaking geniuses," I tell them. 

They leave me and my new status of euphoria alone as they continue talking about their lives. I let the couch swallow me as my mind slips away, no longer dreading but actually looking forward to going back on tour. 

^^^                                                                           ^^^                                                                                ^^^

Hey guys. I'm going to try writing ahead a few chapters so there's less time between each update. Let me know if there's anything you want to see happen in the story and what you think so far! Sorry for the delay. I've been having some writer's block recently.