Feelings - A Hosie Story

Chapter 2 - "You are Hope Andrea Mikaelson"

The tribrid walks to her bedroom after staying with the twins for a few hours. She's got the keys from Alaric, and as she opens the door she is greeted with a cold breeze. Even for a wolf (who naturally runs hot), she feels it. And it feels empty. So empty. She's not sure why she had been expecting any different like she'd been hoping a small piece of who she used to be would remain. Alaric burned her stuff, and now the only belongings she has are clothes that she borrowed from other people and the basic school supplies from when she went to Mystic Falls High. Even though that school was no Salvatore, it still brought her some comfort during such a difficult period in her life. Some of the people there helped her keep going when every bone in her body wanted to give up. And a part of her will miss some aspects of it - getting to start over, where nobody knows who she is and what she is, where nobody could connect her to her family's mistakes, and where nobody sees her differently because of it. She had normal, human friends. But that life, even if it had been okay, it hadn't been the life she wanted. She could've pretended, but it wouldn't have been the same. She will always have a connection to magic and the supernatural.

Finally, she works up the courage to step into the room, feeling as though the sound of her feet hitting the wooden floor is louder than it used to be. She takes what she holds in her arms over to the desk and leaves it there. She opens the closet and all that is in there is some of her standard uniform that Alaric put there. Hope looks at the plain walls, remembering the photos and art that used to be there. Her foot goes over a floorboard that creeks louder than the rest, and she suddenly remembers why. Kneeling, she pulls the board out with a simple spell and smiles at what is underneath. This has always been her little hiding spot, and because nobody else knows of its existence (not even her ex-boyfriend Landon), it has remained untouched over the months. Hope picks up an old grimoire that lays on top of the pile, uncovering random sheets of paper. She digs through it all, a small smile on the corner of her lips. Her eyes catch sight of something else - a person's head. Hope remembers she kept a selection of photos there, ones she wanted to keep to herself, away from curious eyes. She pulls out one picture, stroking her thumb over the faces of her parents. She wishes that they were still here, to help her through this, to hold her when she wakes up from nightmares about Malivore, to tell her that the darkness isn't real.

Malivore is still fresh in Hope's mind, still lingers there, waiting to pounce, to attack whenever she turns a corner, or when she walks down a dark corridor. Hope has long accepted that this is something she'll have to live with, though that doesn't make it any easier.

Tears cloud her vision, so she gets up and sits on her bed. It's comfortable and has the sheets that she likes. A simple summoning spell brings her a notepad and pencil, and for the remaining hours before curfew, she plans to doodle. Even when her eyes are glued to the page, she can feel how empty her room is and she hates it. She hates it, she hates how it feels so cold. And this feeling, the chills that run over her body - it's familiar. It's far too similar to how she felt when the Hollow had control of her. She has the same lonely feeling as she did then, the same as when she was in Malivore.

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It's no surprise that Hope is already awake when her school-provided alarm goes off. If her night hadn't been filled with an empty void and monsters, she would think she hadn't even slept at all. She turns her bedside lamp off (courtesy of Malivore, she's now rather terrified of the dark). Hope has a shower, puts on some makeup to cover the bags under her eyes, then puts her uniform on. Honestly, she hadn't planned on going back to classes so early, but being back in her room when it is like this...well, she'd rather be learning about history or whatever.

Right as she's about to leave, there's a knock on the door. Hope answers, not wanting to be rude, and finds herself pleasantly surprised to see Josie. Yes, they made up yesterday, but she still feels guilty that her return caused Josie so much heartbreak, at a point where she had been happy.