Feelings - A Hosie Story

Chapter 9 - "I was wondering if we could talk?"

Josie sits with the group. And between the bites of breakfast, they talk about the project and their plans for it. More specifically, she and MG are talking. Hope, well, she seems to be preoccupied. She's spent her entire morning staring at nothing, here but not really. Zoned out, would be the appropriate wording. Josie's wanted to try checking up on her, even been close a few times, but MG ends up asking her a question to do with the project, so she never actually got around to it.

"Hope? Hey, Hope? You still with us?" Josie asks, finally catching her attention. Hope's blue eyes stare into Josie's; it feels like she's searching for something. Josie notes how they look just as pretty as always, how the morning sunlight seems to highlight how blue they are. It's as if they have their own shade of the color because nothing else seems to close. Nothing else blue is this mesmerizing to Josie. "You okay? You seem a little...lost."

"I'm fine. Just nervous...about the full moon. The need to turn is so strong then." She clarifies although Josie doesn't entirely believe her. The thing about having spent so much time staring into Hope's eyes is she can sense when something is off. The blue always holds so much emotion, that when someone is trying to look, they can see how Hope is feeling. Only this time, it's like they are more clouded, like they are holding something back.

She may be lying, or hiding something, but Josie won't push. It's not her place. She'll wait, however long it takes, for Hope to be honest with her. And she knows Hope will tell her when she's ready.

Hope is right, or at least honest to some level - the full moon is only two days away. And she's told Josie before about how although she doesn't automatically change in the same way the rest of the wolves do, her body is always screaming at her to turn anyway. Yes, she does have a certain control over her wolf, but the moon's influence isn't entirely gone. Instead, it installs a new desire within her, a stronger one calling at her to run free, desperately wanting her inner animal to be able to feel the wind through its fur.

"That's fair. One of the many reasons I'm glad I'm not a wolf." MG joins in, grimacing as he imagines turning.

"It's not exactly fun knowing that all the bones in you're body and gonna break each month...or for me when I want, but I guess it's worth it." Josie feels that this part is true. She can't imagine the level of pain wolves feel when they change, whether it be by choice (like in Hope's case) or not.

The bell rings, bringing all conversations to an end. Students are packing away their items, clearing the tables, and leaving to go to classes. Josie hastily makes her way out, not wanting a shouting at from the teacher for being late. She sits down in her normal seat, taking out everything she needs for the lesson. Throughout the entire class, she notices Hope is barely paying attention. In the same way as breakfast, it seems as if her mind is elsewhere. Hope is good at pretending, making it seem like she's listening, and to other people that is what they'll see, but to someone who is as close to her as Josie, knowing when something isn't right is easy. Since Landon left, Josie thinks they have really gotten to know each other, on a level far deeper than before. She feels they are closer friends, and secretly she wishes they had something more.

When the class ends, she smiles at Hope, preparing to talk to her, but after turning her back for all of two seconds, the tribrid is nowhere in sight.

And the remaining hours of the school day pass by at the usual slow pace, even slower when Hope is not in the classes with Josie. No matter the situation, Josie enjoys Hope's company. Whether that be sitting in silence or laughing together, it is always reassuring to know Hope is there if she needs her. Most days that need is simply stealing glances and admiring her beauty when she's not aware, with the worry at the back of her mind that somebody else would catch on.