Rainbow Six Siege X Reader

kapkan

Genre: Angst
Warning: Death, suicide
Rating: T

моя любовь,- my love

Kapkan(Maxim Basuda):

You and Maxim were very much in love, in fact you second anniversary was coming up. Being with your soulmate is something that you were thankful for everyday. Maxim felt the same way as you did, if not even more grateful than you. It was a blessing that he found someone to love him despite his flaws, but what was even better was that he fell in love with a fellow operator, someone who understood his work and wouldn't be upset that he could be gone for long periods of time and someone who could keep up with his lifestyle. Even though you were both well aware of what you signed up for, no matter how well trained you both were or how careful you could be, the fear of one of you dying was always a looming thought over Maxim and your's head.
It was inevitable that there would be a casualty on a mission. Everyone knew that, Maxim knew that. He was prepared for his goodbye to be the last goodbye he ever gave to his teammates, his friends, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye to you. He never would be.
"Stay safe, Y/N, I mean it." Maxim's words were muffled as he nuzzled his face into your hair, taking in your scent. "I promise I'll come back to you in tip top shape." You pulled away and beamed a radiant smile at him, pulling him in for a quick yet loving kiss you back away leaving with a wave and to the hanger to take off. Maxim waved back as you mouthed an "I love you". Watching you climb aboard, he blew a kiss and watched as you, hibana, Jackal, Iana, and IQ fly away.
The nights felt long when you weren't there. He filled his time training and catching up with Alex, Timur, and Shuhrat. Maxim thought of you and your future with him as he laid in bed. Sleep was practically non existent for him without you cuddled up to him. Swinging his legs of the bed he got up and dug threw his dresser, retrieving a small velvet box. He stared at the box in his hand, picturing your reaction when he popped the question. "Soon, моя любовь" he placed the box back inside the dresser and went to read in bed as he awaited for sleep to catch up to him.

Maxim woke eagerly and quickly dressed then ate. After 5 months you were finally home and back in his arms. He rushed to the hanger to meet you. He could tell something was off though, when he saw Jackal and Iana get off, both with solemn looks, they were shortly followed by you. Maxim lit up when he saw that you were still alive and seemingly unharmed, but his heart plummeted when he saw that you were not looking at him with joy or running to his open arms, instead you just kept starring at the ground as you walked, expression identical to Iana and Jackal's. That's when he noticed that Hibanna and IQ didn't get off. He quickly figured out what happened when he looked around and saw two body bags. Maxim quickly closed the distance between the two of you, startling you in the process. Once you realized it was your lover, you relaxed and kept walking while Maxim's left arm rested around you. Making your way in silence to the car, Maxim opened the passenger door for you to climb in. Once you were both settled for the drive home, he debated whether or not he should ask how the mission was, but he already knew the answer and judging by you far off stare out the window, you probably didn't want to talk about it. The short drive home felt like an eternity of silence.

Quickly gathering your things, Maxim and yourself walked inside. Maxim quickly gathered you in his arms for a tight, loving hug. He grew even more concerned when he felt you shake and his shirt grow wet with tears. "It was terrible.." you choked out in between sobs and hiccups. Maxim didn't know what else to do other than hold you close and stroke your hair . "W-we couldn't get t-o th-em-them in tiME!" You wailed, hugging Maxim tighter and digging your nails into his shoulders. "Shh, shh, it's ok, моя любовь," Maxim tried to soothe you as your body was racked with sobs. His heart ached while hearing your wails. You were very close with both Hibanna and IQ, VERY close. It was as if you three were conjoined at the hips. He knew you were absolutely devastated by this, he just didn't know the extent of it. Oh, how Maxim wished he could just take the pain away. Guiding you to the couch, he began to cuddle. You cried so hard and for so long that you had to run to the bathroom and throw up.

After what seemed like hours you finally fell asleep. Maxim carried you to bed and tucked you in with a kiss. You continued to whimper in your sleep. He left to make food, sure that you'd be hungry once you woke up.
The coming days were hard for him, you were basically catatonic. It concerned him greatly, he was afraid to leave you alone for more than twenty minutes at a time. Maxim read the report of what happened on your mission, IQ and Hibanna were injured, no one could get to either one in time and they were k.i.a. Sad, but it was to be expected that not every teammate would be able to make it out alive. Your lack of attention, and thousand yard stare terrified him. One minute he thought 'What if you hurt yourself' and the next he'd say it would be a miracle if you even moved to do anything other than use the bathroom.

Unfortunately the time arose that he had to leave for a debriefing of his next mission.
The morning he was to leave, he was stricken with and anxiety.
Walking to your side of the bed, he took notice of how normal you looked while peacefully asleep. Maxim stroked your hair, and gave you a kiss, "Я скоро буду дома моя любовь" Maxim whispered lovingly into your ear before giving you another kiss and leaving.

The meeting took longer than expected. What was supposed to be a three or four hour long meeting turned into and all-day event. Maxim anxiously awaited to go home. He had hope that after twelve days you'd be able to gain motivation again. He knew that's not how this works, though, he had hope. Rushing home, he walked inside and announced himself. Walking to the bedroom where he knew you'd be waiting, blank stare, and unmoving.
Maxim was shocked when he saw that you were not in bed, but noticed the bathroom door was slightly cracked and light slivered through. Smiling, he walked closer to peek his head in and tell you he'd make dinner. He felt joyous, taking this as a sign of recovery.

Maxim's throat formed a lump and his stomach dropped once he smelled the metallic stench of blood. Rushing in Maxim nearly lost his lunch at the sight before him.
Red. All he saw was red. The floor was covered in blood. You sat in a tank top and pajama pants in the bathtub. Blood was running down your fingertips and pooled beneath your hand. Blood dried around a large gash in your right arm that hung limply outside the tub. As he got closer, he realized that your left arm had a much sloppier cut. Snapping out of his daze, Maxim immediately grabbed a towel off the rack and attempted to cover your wounds. Once it was secure he moved his fingers to your neck to check for a pulse. The minute his bare hand came into contact with your skin, he knew it was too late. Aside from your snow-white completion, your skin felt as cold as the Russian winter. Maxim's face grew hot and tears began to fall that he hadn't noticed were there in the first place when he felt no pulse. Stumbling, Maxim called 911 for an ambulance. Ignoring the operators demands to stay on the phone, he made his way back to your body. All his first aid training went straight out the window. The reality finally hit him that you had killed yourself. Maxim let out a wail and cradled your snow white face. "пожалуйста, моя любовь," Maxim began shaking your cold, limp body. "Вернись! Просыпайся!" Maxim's shaky yelling was all that could be heard in the silent house.

The rest of the day and night went by in a blur. All he remembers is scream crying in the car and partial memories of the hospital. Paramedics came and took your body, at the the hospital you were pronounced dead, doctors gave him their condolences and left. It all felt so fast.

Maxim went home to find police in front of his house,the bathroom was being cleaned as he gave his statement to an officer. By the time the police left and he was able to cry in the privacy of his own home, it was 2:30 a.m.

Life from that point on became bleak, and cold. The following lawyer visits and funeral arrangements left him utterly drained. You were burried wearing the engagement ring Maxim never got to give you.

Maxim never did anything drastic like vow to never love again, but never finding true love again was just something he'd come to terms with. Nobody would ever make him feel whole again, as cliche as it sounds.

And so that's how his story ends, Maxim dates through the years, but never for more than 2 years at most. Everyone just makes him feel like he's cheating on you.

1710 word count.

If you would like more information on the explosion in Beirut check out

:https://www.redcross.org/about-us/news-and-events/news/2020/beirut-explosion-red-cross-treating-the-wounded.htm