[ ＴｏｍＴｏｒｄ | ＯｎｅＳｈｏｔｓ ]

depresso tord x tommo

~Tord pov~

As I feel the blood exit my body and bask in the pain, I reminisce about my life; How I got to this point, why I am doing this. I look at the note beside me. My life starts to flash before my life.

My parents.

Paul and Patryk. 

The red army. 

The fun adventures I would have with my friends. My friends...

Edd, the joyful, vibrant artist. His art was amazing and he was extremely kind to me. Even after what happened with the robot.

Matt, the narcissistic, childlike one. He was always looking at himself. He loved himself, I yearn to have his vanity. It must be so much better than feeling this terrible feeling every second of every day.

Tom, the alcoholic. The one that hated me the most. The one that loved Edd the most. The one that I loved the most. Wow. we used to be so, so very close. But how times change. He is the one...that put me in this spot. No, I don't want to blame him for my stupidity.

  High school, we were best friends. The best of friends. This was the prime of my life, I couldn't even tell if it was his. 

We end up going to college. Different colleges mind you. We still kept in touch but were more distant. I met Edd and Matt in college, and I found out that Edd liked art. He and I clicked, both being art geeks. Matt was much less energetic but still was fairly narcissistic. When Matt and I graduated, we stayed in a small apartment complex. We were neighbors.

When Edd graduated, he inherited his grandparents' house. He said it would be too lonely if he lived there alone, so he asked us if we wanted to live with him. After a while, we settled in. I then had a thought: Tom is gonna be graduating soon, why not ask him if he wants to live with us. I mean, we do have a spare room. I decide to ask Edd, which he gladly accepts.

When Tom did graduate, I and him caught up. He acted differently though. More distant. He acquired an alcohol addiction. I tried to stop him but this only made us argue. We became cold to each other, fighting every day.

I don't think he knew this. I don't think anyone knew this. Not even I did, but along the way, I somehow developed a small crush and the Jehovah's Witness. 

Around 9 months before I left, Is when I had started to notice these inconvenient feelings. I was eating breakfast and I saw him. It was different, I don't know how to describe it. As a week passes, my feelings only increase. Then jealousy hits me. I was always trying to focus my attention on him. I noticed just how close Edd and Thomas were. I didn't want to lose tom. I know he hated me at this point. I tried to be nicer to him, we came to be mutual friends. He and Edd were still close. I then started to realize Tom liked Edd. Jealousy overwhelmed me, then something clicked. He likes edd. He likes Edd because Edd isn't a huge dick like I am. He is an angel. An angel that isn't an ugly piece of shit. I realized that if I didn't act quickly, he would probably end up dating Edd. I saw the way Edd looked at Tom as well. Maybe a week later, I had received enough confidence to confess to him.

Of course, he declined. He and Edd were already dating. For 2 months.

I decided to leave soon after that. The awkwardness was too much to bear. I come back, having forgotten about most of my memories with my friends. The incident with the robot happened. I still don't like talking about it. It took a while for everyone to welcome me back, but Edd still was ok with me staying. After a while, I realized I still liked tom. I started to go into a depression. I didn't try to get Tom to like me, Edd didn't deserve that. I became distant, picking up my old habits of smoking. They didn't seem to notice.