New Love Springs

Chapter12 - The Blankness

Sweeney didn't come back for a week.

He wouldn't speak to anyone. He didn't apologise for what he had done, the state he had left Nellie in or the fear he had given her.

He didn't explain anything, and stared at Nellie, emotionless, as she sat in front of him, crying her eyes out, screaming at him to reply.

He didn't, and wouldn't, so she gave up trying.

They lived like this for a further week.

She had no idea what was happening, but Sweeney did.

He felt the same, empty, blank feeling that he had felt when the killing started.

He had regrets about moving on from Lucy so suddenly.

He hadn't been ready, he could see that now.

He couldn't bear to tell Nellie what was happening to him. He ran away from the problem. He ran away from her. When he was with her, he couldn't say the things he wanted to.

It was the only thing he could do. Otherwise he could hurt her - He didn't even know who he was anymore. He thought he was over this depression, this horrible monster that had seeped into his soul and taken away everything he had. He thought that was over. He thought he was a new man, with a new life.

 He thought the love he had found for Nellie would overcome all of this.

He had thought wrong.

Something was stopping him. The horrible force that had driven him to insanity last time was back, and it was dragging him down and down until he couldn't take it anymore.He needed to talk to her; he loved her more than anything now. Or so he thought...

The force he had become so accustomed to was stopping him. It was pulling him away.

Until one day, he saw Nellie, crying in the corner of the kitchen and walked over to her.He carefully approached her, trying to show no emotion when she fearfully cowered away from him.Her eyes, pleading with him to stay away, with tears etched onto her face like a tattoo, was what broke him most.He sat, trying to remain calm and not break down.

Wringing his hands together, he said 'We need to talk'

Nellie nodded; she was trying not to show the emotional pain she was in, but it was a struggle.

'What do you want to talk to me about, Sweeney Todd?'

This whole set up felt very formal to Nellie, so she felt it necessary to call him by his full name.After all, they acted as barely even acquaintances now, let alone the passionate lovers they had once been. She didn't even feel an impending panic about the words he would say to her. She was simply blank.

 'I'm sorry...I can't do this Nellie. I have to go. I need to leave and sort everything out. I won't make you understand how I feel. Someone like me can't be fixed and will never be better'

He had no emotion in his voice whatsoever.

Nellie's weight of emotion suddenly hit her. She keeled over, sobbing big, fat tears under the impact of her feelings.Her hands sprang to her head. It felt like it would explode.Her chest heaved with broken breaths from the pain, as her heart was smashed into countless pieces. She would never be happy again.Gradually getting her breath back, she started to screech at Sweeney, who turned his back on her, tears streaming down both of their faces.

'What do you mean, you want to leave? You can't! I thought we were happy together, with our new life! I thought you were better! I won't let you go, you're all I have, Benjamin Barker, I love you and I always have!'

Sweeney forced himself to turn around and look at her straight in the eyes.

The room suddenly fell silent after Nellie's final declaration of love. The atmosphere could suck the life out of any happy spirit. It curled around the broken couple, dwelling on their sorrows and throwing any pleasant memories they shared away, so all that was felt was a looming blankness for both of them.