Twelve Days

Day seven

"Jace!", Alec said, trying to awaken me. "We have a mission, do you remember?",he said and I immediately sat up straight in bed- him, Clary and I have talked after our bonfire yesterday and have decided to get up at four in the morning in order to hike up into the Canyon and watch the sunset from there. "Right, I'll be right there.", I replied. I have rarely been so tired in my life. To me relief I felt genuinely tired, not weak. It was natural, not sick. And the pills seemed to work- I would have never thought they could give me back a life like I had years ago, before the disease started taking over my body. The beauty of medicine, I thought. Somehow ironic how the only thing being able to give me a chance at actually living would take that very life from me. Shrugging the thoughts off of me I put my pill box into my backpack along with a bottle of water and some snacks we prepared in the evening. After that I put on my hiking clothes and a couple of extra layers as it was quite chilly as long as it was dark outside. A few minutes later we stepped out of our van to see Clary already waiting for us. Her copper hair was braided into two braids, little curly strands framing her pretty face, making her green eyes shine like emeralds. "Ready to go?", she asked. "Absolutely.", I answered.

The hike wasn't particularly hard, the only issue was that it was quite stony and we needed to be very careful not to slip due to the lack of light. "Careful!", I said as Clary nearly fell right next to me, grabbing her by her arm. "Maybe this wasn't our smartest idea.", she laughed whilst regaining her balance. "Maybe it wasn't.", Alec stated, "But you never know if you never try." "True again."; she grinned and we kept moving. The silence made me feel as if I was isolated, floating around in a bubble- there was not a single soul out in the canyon besides our little group of three. "Overthinking?", Clary asked me, noticing my mind was going elsewhere. "A bit.", I chuckled, "Mainly enjoying the peace though." "Alright.", she smiled and fidgeted for my hand. Shaking, I took hers. Everything inside of me was screaming to let go- she had no idea the hand she was holding was more dead than alive. It wasn't fair. But still, I let it happen. Maybe it was selfish but I wasn't strong enough to resist the urge of feeling her delicate fingers in between mine. As expected her hands were warmer than mine. A walking corpse, I joked to myself, still pulling a girl.

"Wasn't it worth it?", Alec sighed as we reached the pique of the mountain, staring down into the canyon and the starry clear sky, orange stripes slowly cutting through the dark blues, announcing the arrival of the morning. "Whoa.", Clary sighed and dropped her backpack on the ground, fully taking in the fresh morning air. Not disturbing her, Alec and I laid out a blanket we brought with us so we could sit and have breakfast while watching the sunrise. Carefully, we unloaded all the food and the three of us gathered around it and made ourselves comfortable. "So, where is your journey taking you next?", Clary asked. "Maroon bells- our final destination.", Alec replied, "And yours?" "As usually, I don't know. I'll have to be back in New York in three days though so I can be there for my best friend's wedding.", she replied smiling. "Why don't you join us again?", I asked, "Just spend two days with us there and then go back?" "I don't know.", Clary answered, "I mean I would love to, but this is a friend thing of yours and I don't want to mess up any plans." "You're not messing anything up.", Alec ensured and I thanked him mentally. "Think about it.", I said and shove a strawberry into my mouth, watching the sun rise, painting the sky in the prettiest colors while the sweet fruity taste of the strawberry exploded in my mouth. After having breakfast and the sun having almost completely risen I took my pill box and excused myself to walk a few feet away from everyone else. This was the deadest I have ever been but the most alive I will ever be, I realized and took my pill while watching the sun secure it's place on the clear sky- a new, fresh day has broken- a new chance.

"So we will see each other there!", I said and hugged Clary goodbye before climbing into the van where Alec was already securing all our belongings. "Ready to roll?", Alec asked and I nodded. Slowly but steadily, our van got going and we left the Black Canyon of the Gunnison National park behind us. As always, I turned on the radio as we entered the highway. It was not a long ride, only two hours but it was going to be the last ever ride for me. "It has been a crazy time, hasn't it?", I said and turned the music down a bit. " You could say so. Though now I am extremely tired.", Alec chuckled and yawned. "Same."; I laughed, "But what is a bit of tired compared to watching the sunrise from the top of a mountain in the middle of Colorado?" "Fair point.", Alec laughed and took a sip from the water bottle, turning the music back up. Alicia Key's Empire state of mind Part 2 was playing, reminding me of home- New York. I was never going to see the city I grew up in again. I will never take the subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan again. Even though I promised myself not to look back, the thought of home ached my heart- the countless memories from former times, where life was normal and my biggest worry was whether I would get to sit in the front of the bus on my way to elementary school. Well now I didn't even have that worry anymore. No worries. Freedom. And better things ahead. With steady hands I skipped the song.