A MCYT fanfiction about BadBoyHalo and GoodBoyHalo, featuring Skeppy, A6d, Dream, GeorgeNotFound, and SapNap. Trigger Warning: This includes themes of depression, loneliness, self doubt, mentions of suicide, and suicide attempts, along with blood an...
"Hello!" exclaimed the voice. Bad jumped and frantically looked around for a weapon. The voice giggled. He opened a drawer and pulled out the first thing he saw: a fork. "I don't know who you are, but I have a.... weapon!" "You call that a weapon?" The voice said sardonically. It giggled again. "Well it would hurt..." Bad said, less confidently. "You'd just be hurting yourself," its tone was mocking now. "I would... what?" "Oh. You don't know. That certainly dampers the mood." "Don't know what?" "I'm just you but better!" "You're... me?" "Yep! I'm just in your head!" "So I'm going crazy." Bad closed his eyes and put his hand over his face. He was confused and tired and going crazy. "You're not going crazy, I'm just your deepest feelings, except I'm a person now!" "That doesn't happen to normal people. Can you... can you control me?" For a moment Bad was scared. Completely and utterly terrified. One of his greatest fears was not being able to control what he did. But then the voice said, "No, no, I could never." And Bad didn't believe him, not one bit. But a comfortable, reassuring feeling filled his mind and all he could think was "Why would he lie to me?" "So who are you again?" "I told you, I'm you." "But what's your name?" "You can call me GoodBoyHalo." Bad remembered his coffee, and with shaking hands took a sip from the steaming mug. It was hot and bitter, but it woke him up almost immediately. Trying to focus, he ran through what had just happened. There was a person inside his head that was a manifestation of his feelings. How was that even possible? All of a sudden something clicked for Bad. "Were you whispering those things to me earlier?" "I don't know what you're talking about," said Good quickly. Too quickly. "Why?" was all Bad said. "I was just protecting you." "And how long have you been 'protecting' me?" "Not long." "How long?" His last remark had been whispered, but it weighed heavy in the air. "Since your breakdowns started." Bad's thoughts whirled, Good had been there for months and Bad hadn't even known, how much had he been influenced by him? "I haven't done anything. I only got strong enough for you to really hear me tonight." "You can hear my thoughts." "I'm in your head." Bad dragged his hand down his face and pulled his hoodie tighter around himself. "So you're telling me you could get stronger." "What? I never said that." "Well could you?" "No, no, I'm stuck like this." Bad felt as though Good was lying, but that same reassuring feeling filled him again, and his doubts disappeared. He didn't know what to do or what to say, so he did nothing, just stood there sipping his coffee. A thought appeared in his head, sudden and unexpected. How are you just accepting this? But just as he started to think about it, the thought slipped away. He could remember thinking something, but couldn't remember what. That never happened to him, his thoughts were his safe place, where he knew everything. At least until recently. His brain had been his best friend for as long as he could remember, but it had slowly become his bully, telling him he wasn't good enough. Telling him he was alone and no one even cared. Telling him he couldn't trust anyone. He hardly even felt like himself anymore. Was is it Good? No it couldn't be. Good had told him he didn't do anything, and he had no reason to lie. Did he? Bad finished his coffee, leaving the dirty mug in the sink, and left the kitchen to go back to his room. He didn't know what to do. Obviously he couldn't sleep, not only had he just drank a cup of coffee, but he knew what was waiting for him in his dreams. When he got back to his room, he saw that he had gotten another message. He turned on the screen, the blue light making him wince slightly, and saw that it was from a6d this time.
a6d: Hey, are you okay?
Bad would bet anything that Skeppy had told a6d to say that. His brain agreed: He doesn't really care, he only asked because Skeppy told him to. But was that really his brain? Or was it Good whispering again? He typed out his response.
BadBoyHalo: I'm fine, why?
A6d responded fairly fast, surprising Bad.
a6d: Skeppy told me you needed to talk
BadBoyHalo: I don't need to. I told you, I'm fine
There it was. "Skeppy told me." At first he was fine with it, friends can talk to each other, but then anger filled him. Boiling rage like he had never felt. They think you're lying they think you're a liar they don't care about you they- His thoughts were interrupted by another ding, but again, he couldn't tell if they were really his. He looked back down at the phone.
a6d: Are you sure? Again, rage filled him.
BadBoyHalo: Of course I'm sure!!!!
a6d: Fine, I was just trying to help
Re-reading what he had sent, his emotions changed dramatically. His face burned in shame, he couldn't believe he had just said that to a6d. He deserves it. "Good?" "That's me." "Did you say that?" Bad heard nothing but his own breathing for what seemed like minutes, but in reality was probably only seconds. "Say what?" "Nevermind," Bad said, shaking his head. He hated himself for thinking those things, he had to apologize.
BadBoyHalo: I'm sorry, I know you wanted to help
No response.
BadBoyHalo: a6d? I'm sorry
He could see that a6d had read the message, but still there was no response. He felt yet another surge of anger and without even thinking, he threw his phone across the room. He hadn't thought about it. It had just happened. One moment the phone was in his hand, the next it was on the floor on the other side of the room. Walking over to it, he could see the screen had cracked. His reflection in the dark screen mirrored how he felt. Split in half. You don't deserve them, you never will. These stupid, stupid thoughts in his head fighting with the rational ones. The ones he could hardly find anymore. But his reflection understood. It was him, but split in half. It was him, half bad, half good.
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A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter is confusing, it's surprisingly hard to express what I'm trying to get through with the whole Bad/Good thing. If it helps you can kind of think of it as a type of identity disorder, where most of the time Bad is in control, but Good sometimes fronts and can also control how he feels and what he does.
Also: I wanted to include a warning, the next chapter gets pretty dark, so if you don't like stuff like that you might want to skip it.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
