Chapter 4

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         A/N

I'm going to to write this chapter in 1st person because it kinda feels right...in fact i have no idea why i was writing in 3rd person in any case..

                                                                                        Harry

shit shit shit shit shit shit shityy shit shit

Absolute fucked up shit

shit

I have no idea what I'm doing here.

I was going to walk straight past them with my nose in the air but then I heard Louis saying those all too familiar words, 'I will never leave you.'And I snapped.

Isin't that what he said to me?And then what did he go and do,he promptly left me.Then I heard him saying it to Niall I felt like saying that now the first thing Lou will do is leave you.Instead I caught sight of Louis once and my  heart stopped or started going a million times faster,I couldn't tell.

He was looking down with flushed cheeks probably from embarrassment his baby blue eyes looked so sad and he started nibbling on his right index finger like he used to do  when he was nervous.I guess that habit was still with him.

"Hey Harry!"Niall smiled at me.I had been staring at Louis for so long I had completely forgotten about the other two sitting therewith him. Huh?I didn't know he was still talking to them.But then again,they weren't the ones who confessed their undying love for him.I inwardly cringed at the memory,I hope it didn't sound like i LOVE him at that point.I mean,I'm pretty sure I do,but that doesn't mean I need him to carry my deepest darkest secret for 5 years.No thank you.

I gave Niall a tight smile in response. Liam looked at me with a mix of anger and sympathy.I totally understand why.After breaking down on that phone call ages ago,I haven't said anything to him.I felt terrible.I was going to apologize to the two of them but then Niall said, "Just sit down Haz,we already had the whole sorry drama with Lou and I don't think I can take any more tears right now."

I grinned at him.He got up from his food,which was very surprising,and hugged me.Liam got up and did the same.Louis didn't move a muscle,which annoyed m to no end.I sat down in Liam's old seat before they could make me sit next to Louis and Niall sat down beside me.It was only when I sat down and Louis lifted his head towards me did I realize how wrong it was to sit opposite to him.

His baby blue eyes pierced through mine and they were full of sadness and regret that I almost broke down crying that the pain behind his eyes was because of me.

"Haz-Harry,"he croaked.I gave him a cool stare and said,"Lewis,"knowing he would hate that.He cringed at the name.He ran a hand through his disheveled hair in despair and then it hit me.Gone was the playful,sarcastic boy.Who I was looking at now was a broken doll,a run down version of the golden boy.Still beautiful,still had a voice like velvet and the laughter like bells,but broken.

And staring at him sitting there staring at me,something inside me broke,it was because of me that he looked so lost and scared.I tried to be rational,after all he was the one who ran away but that part of me wouldn't shut up.And deep inside I knew it was my fault.

Niall cleared his throat,breaking our intense staring contest, "Let's give them some space Li,"he mumbled. Liam and him got up and quickly shuffled away from the awkwardness.Leaving me and the blue eyed boy,alone.

Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Look,Harry,whenever I thought of this moment,when I finally confront you,I always end up talking constantly. I never expected me to stay so shell shocked but it's you."he said with his eyes still closed.

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