Letters To My Mate

Chapter Twenty-Five

I'm not very proud of this chapter and its not as long as I'd hoped but I really wanted an update for you all and it is also setting up for what's going to happen in the future :) Thank you all for reading!

TWENTY-FIVE

Another week passed by quickly. Ethan still had yet to wake up although the doctors were saying that his condition had improved slightly. I had only visited Ethan twice in the past week as my father was coming home more often and was growing suspicious of my trips out of the house – I had used excuses such as going grocery shopping but I was starting to run out now and could only hope that he did not care enough to keep asking.

School would be finishing in one week and we were going to be having a ceremony on the last day. In English class Mrs Greene had selected a few people to make a speech during this ceremony and one of those people was me – I had no idea why she picked me as I am extremely socially awkward and struggle talking to one person at a time, how would I manage with speaking in front of the whole school year?

When I asked Robyn what I could say about love, she only replied with “You’ll know exactly what to say, dear,” with a smirk on her lips. She didn’t give me the chance to ask for her to elaborate or to say anything else after that as she walked away, towards the staff room, without looking back.

Now, here I am sat at my desk in my room trying to write something good; ‘trying’ being the key word. What would a huge crowd of bored, uninterested teenagers actually listen to? I shook my head and sighed – I’ll have to try again later and hope that I will be able to come up with something good. I pulled out a new sheet of paper and started to write another letter to Ethan – I had written him four letters so far since he has been in hospital. I hope that he likes these letters…

“Dear Ethan,

You have been in hospital for over a week now and although the doctors have said that your condition is improving, I can tell that they are losing hope in you waking up any time soon. I’m not, though. I know that you will wake up – don’t ask how I do know because it is just a feeling that I have inside, but I know that I can trust this feeling. I know that you would not leave me before you have actually met me, anyway.

Graduation is creeping up on us and for some reason Mrs Greene chose me to speak in front of everyone. I won’t tell you what the subject I was given is but I will tell you that I’ll be thinking of you to calm my nerves. You know how bad I am at speaking to people – I have reasons, which maybe you will find out one day and you won’t be so confused anymore… I really want you to wake up before I graduate; I need you to wake up before I graduate. I want you to be there so that I can smile at you as I walk up onto the stage and have the entire room filled with people staring at me.

Every time that Seb is not in school I start panicking because I have no idea if something has happened to you – what if your body can’t heal itself any further and I’m not there? I don’t know what I would do. I want to be with you at all times but I do have to go to school (not for much longer!) and I know that my father doesn’t want me to be out all the time, he’d get too worried.” I quickly wiped the tears from both my eyes and the page. I felt bad lying to Ethan because, as far as I know, he is completely honest with me – except the secret that Seb and Logan both talked about but that probably isn’t as big as my secret – and it isn’t fair that I keep lying to him over and over again. Anyway, I’m not completely lying… my father doesn’t want me to go anywhere because he would be worried that I have ran away or told someone about his abuse. I shook my head (something I seem to be doing a lot lately, I must be going crazy) and started writing again,

“I want you to wake up. You were supposed to be here, you’re supposed be here sat next to me with your eyes wide open as you say all your cheesy pick-up lines and laugh when I blush.

I’ll keep this letter short as I have lots of homework to do; every teacher has decided that because it is the end of our school lives, they should pile us up with homework. I miss you so much and I am glad you are home even if you have yet to wake up. I know that you will wake up soon – I refuse to give up hope.

I love you,

Your Ra-Ra’

I folded the paper and placed it into an envelope, putting it on top of the already existing pile of letters that were situated on my desk. I wrapped a piece of ribbon around the letters and carefully slotted them into one of my school folders – so that it would not get lost and I would be able to find it later - before placing it in my bag.

I heard a small chime of a phone and looked around my room in confusion until I realised that it was my phone that was making the sound – I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that Seb bought me a phone; I wouldn’t usually have accepted such a gift but I knew that Seb would not be able to contact me about Ethan without it. Of course, I will owe him a lot and will probably give it back when Ethan is better.

As I went to pull my phone out of my jeans pocket I started to panic – what if it was a message saying that Ethan won’t wake up at all? I felt my breathing start to quicken and relaxed, forcing myself to breathe slower to calm down; I didn’t want to have another panic attack. Once my breathing was controlled again, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and unlocked it (yes, I am cliché and have my password as ‘Ethan’)

‘Hey x’ the message read. It was from an unknown number so I had no idea who it would have been – I have Logan, Ethan’s family and Freya’s numbers programmed into the phone already.

‘Who’s this? x’ I quickly sent in reply, staring down at my phone as I waited for a reply.

‘How’s Ethan? x’ came their reply which was, almost immediately, followed by another, ‘It’s Robyn xx’

I sighed in relief and saved her number as a contact before replying, explaining how Ethan’s condition is improving but they’re still unsure if or when he’s going to wake up. We exchanged messages for the next half an hour before she had to go and grade some papers – I’d hate to be a teacher, it seems like such hard work although Robyn is an incredible teacher and does everything so well.

I hid my phone in my schoolbag and took out some homework – I had to write another essay which seems to be the only form of homework that teachers know at the moment.

***

“Freya…” I trailed off nervously.

“What’s up?” She replied cheerfully as she placed her sandwich back on her tray that was on top of the cafeteria table.

“I don’t want to pry or come across as rude… but why did you stop talking to me?” I asked as she froze in her seat, eyes wide.

“Rach… I really wish I could tell you but you wouldn’t understand yet.”

“Then make me understand!”

“It has to do with Sebastian and Ethan… it is okay now, though. You know that I would never stop being your friend without a proper reason.”

“I’m so confused…”

“There are some secrets that you don’t know yet but I know that as soon as Ethan wakes up, everything will become clear.”

“You’re so lucky that I’m such a forgiving person,” I laughed although my mind was elsewhere – what secret was everyone hiding from me?