The Fourth Year Of Usool Jahanara

14. This Is It!

All the positivity of the world felt meaningless, every action around me felt useless, the point got proved that God could be painfully merciless at times, i felt the world cut off from humanity when I saw the person who was lying on the same bed I was, like a breathing corpse.

It was Jahan, my brother!!

"NO!" A shrill cry left my mouth and I felt the ground beneath my feet slip.

Jahan turned out to be the latest victim. He was lying on his back, eyes closed, his left hand was twisted and almost hewed off in a painful angle. The fair skin tone we shared was now drastically pale. His pale pink lips were parted. The only proof of him alive was the constant heaving and dropping of his chest, indicating that he was breathing. I felt Megan hold me back and I realized that I almost had collapsed. My brain felt numb and I felt like my body was being turned inside out. I closed my eyes and buried my face in her shoulder, not able to and also not wanting to see him like that.

If I felt this painful to only see, imagine how painful it might've been for him to feel. How loud he might've cried in pain. My insides lurched and my anatomy was trembling beyond control.

"No!" I choked, fresh tears rolling down from my eyes. "Not Jahan! Not him!" I cried out, shaking my head on her shoulders.

"Calm down, Usool!" Her own voice was cracking. "Madam Pomfrey said it was minor! He will be healed!"

I pulled apart from her and turned to my side. Aside us three, the whole team, Payal and Professor Flitwick included, was there. Dave and Eddie were speaking to Professor Flitwick and Madam Pomfrey regarding his condition. Payal and Cheryl were on one of the other beds, Payal was trying her best to calm Cheryl who was crying her heart out on her chest. Shihad was sitting on the opposite bed, shoulders slumped so low that his fingertips were touching the ground. Nikkie was beside him, her hand on his shoulder. I pulled away from Megan's grip and tottered to them.

I stood beside Shihad when he looked up. His eyes were red rimmed, which was pretty surprising. No matter how hard the situation was, Shihad never cried. Instead, he was the rock we lean on in Hogwarts. Hell, he was the rock our family leans on for life. And seeing our rock, our backbone broken made my heart bleed. He looked at me for a while and looked down, not able to meet eyes.

"How and when?" I managed to voice out.

"We were in the Library, we still were bickering over some nonsense when he kept his hand to pull one book out when..... when.... I heard him..... him... shriek..... and....." she started to bawl again in Payal's arms and I involuntarily closed my eyes, not having the energy or will to hear more.

Shihad let out a shaky breath. "It's all my fault!" His voiced cracked, making him sound more reserve. "If I hadn't sent him there, he wouldn't have been lying here!" He closed his eyes and frowned, bands down his cheeks which had started to dry became wet again as he started to shake, his teardrops falling on the floor.

"I'm very sorry Usool!" He choked on his tears. Nikkie rubbed her hand against his shoulder. I let out a breath I was holding for that long. I knelt down to reach his level infront of him and held his long hands in mine.

"It isn't your fault, Shihad!" I tried to soothe him.

Ugh, why am I so bad at consoling people?!

"I also shouldn't have pressurized him regarding his O. W. Ls. I shouldn't have inflicted my will upon him. I'm the worst big brother ever!" A small sob tore through.

Nikkie gulped down, trying hard not to cry. "No Shihad! Don't tie all this to your head! You were just concerned about his performance and about the library? No one ever saw that coming! Neither him, nor you or everyone! It is not your fault! Don't blame yourself!"