Week two

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I really want to cuddle.

This has become painfully apparent in the past hour. Me and Zuko just came back from breakfast. Waiting for Frank to come and re-bandage Zuko's face. That wasn't the odd thing though. Zuko finished his food quickly as always. But he actually leaned against the doorway waiting for me to finish up.

Then when I got up and went over to him. He turned and headed to our room without a word. Very odd.

He never waits for me. Well except today.

He walked me back to residence room number three. Then went to his bed, and took out the familiar ear buds and MP3 player. I wondered what he was listening to now.

I had gotten a glimpse of his MP3 player's content list. I had a bunch of different songs on the small screen. None of them looked like the smooth jazz we had listened to yesterday. And I could tell there was a lot more than that what the small section showed.  Like a lot more.

So we sat on our beds as always. Zuko leaning against his own headboard. Eyes closed, face shifting minutely as he listens to different songs. Me leaning against mine bored out of my mind. Hat starting to itch a little in the back.

I glanced ovrr at Zuko again. I remembered how I had hugged him yesterday. The weight of his arm around my shoulder. The feeling of me leaning against him, his head onto of mine. The warmth leeching off from him and into me. That had been nice very nice. Very nice.

And I kind of want to do it again. Kind of. It's been awhile since I cuddled with anyone. Yesterday doesn't count, he was crying and looking for comfort. I had provided that comfort sufficiently. I think I did. Probably did. Let's go with probably did. Well it doesn't  look like he's gonna a cry now. Not in the least. He looks stony and blank as always.

He wouldn't want to cuddle with me anyway. But he did stay with me after he stopped crying. Jeesh I sound like twelve a year old again. When I first realized I was pansexual. That was difficult to become aware of and accept. Having romantic thoughts of people with all different genders. Not settling down on one kind if freaked me out. Thinking of a girl one minute then the fantasy would switch to a dude, and back again. It confused me to say the least. I felt equally to all parties and that was interesting to figure out. To say the very least.

So here I am, with my twelve year old mind, trying to figure out why I want to cuddle with Zuko. He didn't mind it yesterday. But he was crying and his brain was probably muddled. Yeah he had brain muddlery. Yet I still want to cuddle with him. But he wouldn't. He did yesterday though. That was yesterday and he had brain muddlery. Yet I still-

You get the idea.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't glare at me."

I legitimately jumped with surprise, and looked wildly at Zuko. He didn't look amused. So like usual. I smiled nervously at him.

"Uhm, what? Sorry I wasn't paying attention." I said honestly, my hand tracing my bump subconsciously. Zuko's golden eye flickered down to the movement. He raised his eyebrow.

"Could you not glare at me?" He repeated.

"I was glaring at you?" I said meekly. Zuko smirked and nodded. "Sorry," I muttered. Zuko smirked again, and I turned away. I didn't mean to glare at him. I heard a sigh from behind me, and the rustling of fabric. I didn't look back I doubt that it was anything.

I heard padded footsteps, going away from me. I sighed and cacooned myself in my bedsheets. Now he'll think you're weird. I'm not that weird. I just wanna cuddle.

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