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𝙞𝙛 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
𝗶𝗳 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 i had spoken to him the first day i had met him. maybe we would've been more than friends and maybe we would've fell in love. but i didnt talk to him, we weren't friends and we aren't together. and i can only blame myself. the saddest part is that i really tried not to fall in love with draco. i really did. i always knew that i would get hurt. i looked at hermione in our class, she was simping over ron and he didnt notice her. i told her all about draco and she told me all about ron. she was hurt. i could see that in her eyes. as we were doing our homework, hermione whispered to me, her eyes flickering over to ron. "does it ever stop hurting, ella? does it ever?" i sighed. "no. you just make room for it" i sighed. this hurt me too much, even though i said it myself. draco is just so damn selfish. even after breaking my heart, he just keeps coming back to make sure it doesnt recover. he looks at me sometime in our classes, maybe just a glance, but he does. it would be so very easy to say that i feel invisible, but the thing is that i feel visible, but entirely ignored. i want nothing but the best for him, i really do, its just that sometimes i wish that the best for him was me.
i wanted to tell him that i love him and that i still want him, but frankly, it wouldnt change a thing, so i will just keep pretending.
it hurts like hell when you know that you need to let go of someone but you cant since you are always waiting for the impossible to happen. it's so funny to me, how you can just fall in love by writing letters. how you can just fall in love by seeing them for the first time. how you can fall in love with their voice, their personality, their everything. it's so ironic how our hearts can get hurt by something we already saw coming. and the sad thing, so many people are in love, but not together, and so many people are together but not in love. oh gosh all of this is so cliche. i just want to heal, but how can i, if i keep pretending im not hurt. do you ever just talk to someone so much they become a part of your routine but now they aren't here anymore and everything is just sucky? yeah.
