Fear

Chapter 7: The Arrival

The next morning after the incident is quiet. I don't bother saying anything to the other three, and I only share brief conversations with Michael and Mr. Arlert. I wish I could take it back, but every time I look at Eren it feels like my mouth has been wired shut. The tension between us is thick enough to be cut with a knife.

Armin says his goodbyes to his grandfather outside- hoping for at least some privacy. After that Mikasa opts to say goodbye to the two of us before wandering off to who knows where. And then its just me, Michael, and Eren.

Eren's goodbye to Michael is kind, and intimate- a goodbye between two best friends that I feel like I have no right to intrude on, so I look away and try to block out their whispered words. It works well enough that I don't notice when Michael's gone and I'm alone with Eren. Not until he's standing right in front of me anyways.

The tension sat heavy in the air. It felt like I was trapped, boxed in. I don't know where the boldness from last night went, but in that moment I was missing it desperately. But to my shock, nothing happened.

"You... you were right, okay! You were right, yesterday. I... I don't want the last memories of you guys to be ones I regret.... But you can't give up that easily! You better survive out there, with training or with-out it! I don't care. Don't let these be the last memories I have of you guys. Show the titans whose boss. You better live, then you can wait for me so we can join the scouts together, just like we planned when we were little kids!"

Eren's always been more Michael's best friend than mine. The two of them have always been close, while I usually stuck with Armin or Raphael... even then Armin and I weren't all that close and Raphael was my older brother. I enjoyed their company, but we didn't have the same bond that Eren and Michael did... But for this moment in time, I think I can feel it. What its like to be best friends with Eren Jeager- to have that bond. And for that brief moment in time, I felt like I understood the enigma that is Eren Jeager. Eren talked about having no regrets... but this opened a big one for me. I wish I'd been a better friend. I wish I'd gotten to know Eren better. I wonder if I did if I'd be as close a friend to him as Michael is.

"I'll do my best. If I make it back... I want to try and become friends with you."

"There is no if. You're going to make it back, and when you do we're going to be friends."

After that the tension dissipates and goodbyes are easy. Its all kind words mixed with a sense of dread while Mr. Arlert puts his hat onto Armin's head. Then we set off. We don't look back- if we did it'd make it hurt so much more. But even though we're leaving, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest... but at the same time a new one sank to my stomach. After all-

"We'll be coming to the fields in about minutes! Gather you belongings and be prepared to step out of the carriage and into a single file line after your name is called!"

To the twins' relief, there would be training before they're sent out into titan territory. The training will last about 6 months and is being held in abandoned farmland close to the gate into Wall Maria. The dirt is desolate and is useless for farming, so the government seemingly had to problem giving the land to the Training Corps commander- at least that's the rumors that have been spreading around the carriage.

Gabriel isn't sure how much truth there is to it- for all he knows it could just be speculation to pass the time, but it brings a little comfort to know anything at all but the uncertain future. The others probably feel the same way- not that he'd know. He's been trying to avoid conversation and eye contact with everyone in the packed buggie. He'd normally chat with Michael, but he'd opted to take a nap on his shoulder within the first few minutes after they'd left.

"Hey you! Redhead without the glasses!" Startled, Gabriel looks up meeting the eyes of a middle aged man in front of him. His clothes look cleaner than most, and he's definitely on the bigger side weight-wise. "How old are you, kid?"

"I'm 13."

"And him?" The man gestures at Michael.

"Also 13." The mans eye narrow.

"You twins?"

"Yeah." The conversation seems to end there, so Gabriel looks back down at his journal before stuffing it into his bag.

"What the hell are you two doing here?"

"Huh?" Gabriel looks up, its a different man from the first one. His skin is a pasty white and he has thinning brown hair.

"You're kids aren't ya. Did ya forge papers to get into the military early, or what?"

"We were drafted just like everyone else. The recruitment age is 12, anyone older was drafted." Gabriel shifts, bumping the person closest to him. His chest tightens. Even if he wanted to he couldn't help bumping into others. The buggie they're in is small (meant to hold maybe 8 adults) and its packed. it There's 15 men and 3 women, not including him and Michael. They'd ran out of seats early on, so the majority of them sat packed back to back on the floor. Him and Michael were lucky they were so skinny, the two of them managed to cram into a seat meant for one.

Luckily enough, the carriage quickly came to a stop. Without delay, the military official opened the carriage and started calling names, startling Michael from his sleep.

Each name sends a deep feeling of dread into Gabriel's stomach. How Michael can stay so calm and unaffected is beyond him. But he quickly pushed it aside as they're assigned their bunks. Instead he lets his mind wander as he shoves his bag into the chest at the foot of the bed. He doesn't bother unpacking- they won't be here long and he doubts that they'll ever be coming back.

Michael and Gabriel share this cabin with the two other men from the carriage. They said they're names were Leonard and Joshua or something like that. He didn't really pay attention- there's not really a point when they'll probably be dead in a few months. That being said, they haven't seen Mr. Arlert since they left the refugee camp. They don't know what happened to him, but they have a feeling that they're not going to see him again.

Closing the chest, Gabriel sighs. He misses home. The bunk beds remind him of Shiganshina where him and Michael shared one just like these. Despite always wanting to lay at the top, Gabriel never could. He'd always end up falling out of bed during the night and Raphael would laugh at him. He'd taken to sleeping on the bottom just to avoid the embarrassment.

"Hey Gabe-" Michael starts but is cut off by a familiar voice in the doorway.

"Hey Mikey, Gabby, did you miss me?"