Fear

Chapter 9: The Massacre

After that first day, Raphael doesn't speak to us again. Despite that Michael keeps trying. I don't bother stopping him. Its not fair for me to try and meddle when I'm the reason we abandoned him in the first place.

Outside of that training passes fairly quickly. The ODM gear is easy enough to learn, and the only real struggle I have is doing aerial maneuvers to escape titans. I want to play around with it, get to know the gear, and really understand how to use it, but I'm afraid that Shadis will scream at me for it. Michael's pretty good with the gear too, he can do those aerial tricks no problem, he just has an issue with conserving gas.

The physical conditioning however is a different story all-together.

The work is punishing and painful, and if you can't do it Shadis will just kick you down and make you do it again. Push-ups, curl-ups, pull-ups, sprinting, endurance running, hand-to-hand combat. He'll make you do it over and over again until you can finish it. In short training is hell. Sometimes, I think Shadis has been purposefully targeting me and Michael, but I wouldn't say that to his face. He already doesn't like us as it is- he's convinced that us being here is pointless because we'll be the first to die. I desperately want to prove him wrong, but in my heart it feels like he's right.

By the end of the sixth months, I feel just as lost as in the beginning, but I know I'm stronger. I can see it in the muscles that line my arms, the marks from the straps burnt into my skin and the way that the ODM gear feels weightless around my hips. This is probably as ready as I'll ever be.

"FORWARD MARCH! GOOD LUCK OUT THERE TROOPS! AT THE FIRST SIGHT OF A TITAN ALL UNITS ARE FREE TO ENGAGE!"

All 250,000 soldiers "graduate" as we march on foot, to the top of the walls- those of us higher in the rankings bringing up the rear. The plan is simple. Those that did the worst would be the first to go into the walls and while no one said it, the reason was obvious. They'd be buying the rest of us time. The thought makes me feel sick, but I do my best to ignore it and keep marching forward.

Despite the rankings not really having a purpose other than to decide who dies first, I can't help but be thankful for them. I'm #10 in the rankings, meaning that I'm at the end of the 250,000 person line, with only nine others behind me. Two of those people were Michael (who placed 4th) and Raphael (Placed in 1st). The fact that we're together takes a pressure off my chest that I didn't know was there. Despite what Raphael said at the beginning of training, I'm glad that both him and Michael have a better chance of getting out of this than the rest.

By the time we make it to the top... a cold feeling of shock fills my body.

It's already a massacre.

There's no order to the chaos. Titans are everywhere, and the other soldiers are being taken out like its nothing. 6 months of training and the titans are taking us out like its nothing. The titans tear through our troops like we're wet paper, and right now I'd like to do nothing more than run.

"Well, let's go!"

A abrupt shove from behind sends me falling, and I barely manage to use my gear to save myself.

"C'mon Gabe! I bet I can kill more titans than you!" Michael cries joyfully shooting past me, and chasing after Raphael. I don't know how they're so calm. They're insane. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I can see them wandering around. They're everywhere and this time I'm getting an up-close look at them.

"GABRIEL!"

The screech coming from Michael's direction is what gets me moving again, and what's in front of him has me freezing up. We can do nothing but stare.