The Girl - My hero academia x self-harm reader

Chapter 2

'... i'm fine why?'

'oh I just saw you running out of the school and you're so pale! You sure everything's alright?' Midoriya was now doubting your answer and didn't look convinced.

shit shit shit. Gotta make up something before he understands what's happened. 'Naaah the training just killed me and I was just really impatient to leave this stupid thing called school.'

The young boy believed you, and told you he was heading torwards all might to get more information about something. You quickly said bye to each other and left.

Back alone with your thoughts, you started feeling reality kicking in. You had physically attacked a teacher and voluntarily used your quirk, knowing of course that it is forbidden for high schoolers. You started feeling weak and as your heart started beating you quickly sat against the main entrance. A panic attack was starting to kick in. 'NOT NOWW GOD'

But something else distracted you: an angry man's voice.

'Y/N WHERE ARE YOU? WE NEED TO HAVE A CHAT RIGHT NOW'

Oh god you knew this voice. god no no no Aizawa was back up already and looking for you.

Forgetting about the moment of weakness you just had you suddenly got up, which was certainly a bad idea since you then started to feel dizzy, thing that has become the usual considering the lack of blood you body had.

You then started running as fast as you could. You could not face your teacher. Not today. Assuring yourself that this time you wouldn't bump into a random person.

As soon as you got home, your parents greeted you with a big smile. And since you weren't a selfish person you put on the fake smile and laughed at their jokes. Meanwhile you hadn't forgotten what had happened today and was beginning to regret it more and more.

When dinner was finished you rushed to your room and decided on what to do. You had to apologize to mr. Aizawa. He was your main teacher and you can't avoid him until the end of year it is just unrealistic. You had to act as the mature and responsible person he thinks you are...

'but it's too late now' you whispered as tears came rolling down. A hard year of continuous efforts all gone to waste for one stupid mistake. You were such a failure. Without thinking and letting your emotions slip you rolled up your sleeve and took out your razorblade.

You continued cutting. Not deep enough to need stitchs or straps since training was just going to reopen them but deep enough to bleed a lot and to feel the pain. You weren't someone dumb and would always think before acting. It had saved you from several situations and mainly had helped you hide the self-harm and self-hatred.

As soon as you were done you put on some bandages and went to sleep, you were too tired and too much in pain to think more.

But little did you know Aizawa was during the mean time in his bed thinking about why such a perfect student like you would burst into anger. 

'Maybe I don't know as well my students as I thought so' he told himself.

---

Then next day you woke up normally. No rushing thoughts. Just calm and peace.

Until you remembered everything.

'FUCK' you slid against your bedroom wall, regretting the past day. The omnipresent guilt toward your sensei was back. 'what the hell am I going to do?' you put on makeup as usual, mostly to hide dark circles under your eyes as well to give a more "alive" impression. You were pale, not the pretty pale, the sick pale. After thinking a lot, you came to one conslusion: you had to apologize and make something up. You sighed loudly as you grabbed your backpack and skipped breakfast. You didn't deserve it.

On the way to your school when you were sure noone was watching, you rolled up your sleeves. Delicate red-slahes were intirely covering your arm and you couldn't help yourself but grin from the satisfaction. And since you weren't an idiot as soon as possible you rolled it back down: you couldn't afford taking a stupid risk.

You arrived on time at school and just went straight to you table, and faked reading some kind of uninteresting book. As soon as mr. Aizawa came in the floor became sososoosososo interesting. You couldn't look him in the eye. You felt his heavy glance toward your seat during the whole period but couldn't bare it. When the bell rung, you had had time to think: you had to apologize. 'Come on! you have to do it. as they say, fake it till you make it' you thought.

You went straight to your teacher with some kind of fake confidence.

'Sir I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. My behavior was... kind of...' he didn't let you fnish.

'No need to apologize y/n. I had gone through a rough day i'm sorry acting this violently. You are one of my top students.' You felt a wave of comfort run through your body.

You thought to yourself you had to be in control and the small smile that appeared on your face instantly vanished. 'Thank you sir'. You spoke clearly without a hint of emotion in your voice, while heading towards the door.

You frooze when mr. Aizawa spoke those words 'You know I would always listen to anything you have to say right? I am your teacher after all.'

'As if' you thought 'as if they actually cared. All of them listen to one student say something stupid like, go take a bath and then think they're some kind of good and altruistic therapist. They disgust me.' But you thanked the teacher and walked away, without looking at him.

Mr. Aizawa saw you leave and was a bit disappointed. He clearly knows that you didn't mean the thank you, and the bitterness made him look out the window, on the roof. On which someone was sitting. He didn't think much of it as often students would go up there.

You arrived to the next building after a short sprint. You just wanted to get away from your suffocating teacher. He was nice but same as all of them 'too cringe'. You arrived on top of the roof and saw Todoroki up already. You shighed. You were too tired to argue or walk away. Without asking him but by balantly ignoring him you took out a pack of cigarettes and smoke one.

'Y/n I have a question...' Shoto turned around and came near you. Facing you.