Save me [ disconnected]

Lost in my own thoughts

"A broken heart is the worst. It's like having broken ribs. Nobody can see it, but it hurts every time you breathe."

Song of the chapter is:
                     Strangers again
                               ByAgainstTheCurrent

Nathan's POV
That nightmare made unable to sleep my eyes are fully opened but my body is shut , the sun is in the sky shunning but darkness is all what I'm seeing it's like I was in a deep dark hole alone , I finally got up of bed made my way out of my room to Ryan's room I opened his door he was a sleep I took his phone from the nightstand and went back to my room I typed Naya's phone number on Ryan's phone it's ringing but no answer then I heard her voice "hello it's Naya I'm not here you know please leave a message " her voice said softly I hung up I wanted to hear her voice but faith didn't want that , I returned Ryan's phone I was in the living room sitting on the couch looking at the TV "you know it's not working right?" Ryan said with his morning voice "I know " I said tired "are ok man ? I don't like seeing like this it like you .. you shutting me out we are family tell me what going on? Maybe I can help " Ryan worriedly said "I'm fine its just I'm tired " I didn't want him to know "don't tell me you don't have to but I'm here if you wanna talk " he said making his way to the kitchen I went back to my room I sat in the chair next to the window

(Nathan's room )
I looked out I saw the neighbors around the neighborhood , I was lost in my own thoughts I thought of everything that happened lately from meeting Naya to breaking her heart .
Ryan is right I can't be with her when we promised each other to never date any girls or having a relationship in our life because it was ridiculous that's what I used to say about love it's ridiculous stupid and a waste of time but now here I am setting here depressed and feeling like shit because of love

because I love someone that I never thought I would love

Naya's POV
Reaching happiness seemed like a dream to someone people but for me it was like nightmares because trying to be happy always comes with trouble bad people coming in your life or something hurts you and you can't even heal afterwards .
I opened my bedroom door to see Emily Jessie Jack and Shawn staring at me as the saw a ghost I know I was looking terrible but why the staring at me like that "hi" they all said awkwardly then there look switched to a pity looks "we made pancakes " Emily happy voice said , I walked pass them downstairs they were following me "I'm going for a walk " I said about to leave but my phone start to ring upstairs I didn't care I opened the door and left I want to walk in the park away from people just me and the nature , I was in the park setting under a big tree and my mind start to wonder what's gonna happen next? What's life is going to hurt me with ? Emily? Jessie? I don't deserve to be hurt like this and I don't deserve to live either but who cares about me when I don't care about myself, I don't love myself I don't expect people to love me
When I was little girl kids would laugh at anything I do I didn't know why I still don't teachers felt sorry for me so they would be nice I didn't had friends I only had imaginary friend her name was Maddie now I have Jessie and Emily I didn't want to fuck this up because that's what I always do, I don't know if I should tell them about him but I will maybe they will help me getting through this I once read talking to your family about your problems will help you to feel better so I'm gonna tell them
2 hours later
I went back home now I'm stepping with Jessie Emily Shawn and Jack in the living room I told them what happened with me and Nathan "why you didn't tell us before now?" Emily angrily said "Em quiet , you were scared we get it but you weren't a thing so why are you so sad about?" Jack said softly "I...I um" nothing came out I didn't know what I should say "listen we really want to help you you have to trust us so we can get through this together all of us " Shawn said smiling "you can't " I said getting up and with that I went back to my room I saw a notification I got a missed call part of me was hoping it was him other part didn't I looked at the phone it was unknown number he doesn't care about you Naya why would he call .
I took a long bath I was laying on my bed with only towel hugging my wet body I need to stop thinking I took the razor I looked carefully at it , there was a knock on the door "Naya lunch is ready " with that Jessie let her self in I hide the razor under my sheets Jessie placed the tray on my nightstand she smiled warmly and left , I locked the door I went to my bathroom I laid down in the tub I placed the razor and I did it again and again I didn't stop until I felt tired
I washed my arms legs and stomach I wore my black hoodie and pants I laid on my bed closing my eyes letting tiredness take control of me

            
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