Love Mortality (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Part 6: The Hardest Words (The Truth)

Time carried on as such: Kai would work for seven days, visit Kyungsoo for three, work for seven more, and visit for another three. It began to take a toll, though Kyungsoo would go on to act as if it didn't. He would say he understood, that this was just the way things had to be for now, and smile at him. Kai knew better than to believe any of that. It was getting difficult for him, so how could the same not be said for Kyungsoo? Maybe his feelings for him weren't as strong as he claimed. Perhaps, he had his mind set on one thing only. The thought crossed his mind a lot.

"Maybe he's just better at hiding his feelings," Moonkyu suggested one day as they made their way through Seattle. They both had souls to pick up there but with a little time to spare. "Maybe he doesn't want to burden you with his feelings because he can't change your circumstances."

"I'm already burdened, though. And he thinks he's good at hiding, but he isn't. I can feel it. In the atmosphere, in the energy around him. It's like that incurable pain you feel when there is tragic passing but worse because it's someone you love."

Moonkyu nodded in understanding. He had his fair share of tragic passings, as all Angels of Death did. None of them really prepared you for the next one, though; they all hurt the same.

"I don't know if this is a crazy suggestion, but maybe tell him the whole truth." Kai stopped instantly and shot the younger angel a look of horror. "Don't look at me like that. You have to tell him at some point. You can't keep telling the same lies forever."

"He'll never believe me," Kai said, letting his head fall as he began walking again. He had convinced himself of this. Sure, there were mortals who believed in or spoke of angels in theory, but to meet one in real life was a different story, an unbelievable one to most; one that could make you lose all trust in someone; one that could make you stop loving someone. "And that will make him even sadder a-and he'll think I'm making stories up because I don't want to be with him when that's all I really want to do."

"A valid concern, but you can't know that for sure. I'm sure there's a way to tell him that he'll understand. And if he trusts you now, he'll know there is no reason you'd lie to him." 

Kyungsoo did trust him, but that didn't calm his anxiety, it added to it. 

"What's the worst that can happen?" Moonkyu shrugged. "He doesn't believe you, dumps you, and then you come back to work. It's better to find out if there's a possibility of having a mortal life with him now than taking a risk later without him knowing the truth. He might get suspicious if you all of a sudden 'quit' your job for him."

"I suppose that makes sense," Kai said. He sighed and told himself he would do it. He'd tell him. He would tell him everything, for the sake of their relationship, whatever it became after he knew the truth. "I'll tell him. I just hope he trusts me enough to believe me."

"I'm sure he will," Moonkyu said, offering a comforting smile. "I've never seen him, but he seems like a kind person. A person who has a lot of love for you."

Kai smiled and looked away. "Not as much as I have for him," he said, mostly to himself, but Moonkyu heard and smiled as well. 

*********

He surprised him two days later, though it wasn't much of a shock since Kyungsoo said he had been counting the days until he could see him again. This made Kai's heart warm, yet at the same time, even more fearful.

"We finally hired someone new at the café, so I was able to take a few days off, which means we have more time before you have to go back. I was looking up things we could do, but then I realized it would probably be better to ask you what you wanted to do, you know, since you kind of are my guest and doing otherwise would be kind of inconsiderate."