chapter 12

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It's been a full five days since Nick had dropped me off and a full four since I've seen him. I've been going to all of my classes but curiously enough, Nick only showed on Monday and hasn't made an appearance since. Monday's class wasn't as strange as I thought it would have been, if anything, it was more normal than ever. The tension between us wasn't visible, non existent if you will. I'm not sure if it was the fact that I dreaded the idea of this man taking care of me in such a vulnerable state or the reality that this very man is also my professor but I seemed to conceal my emotions from everyone the last few days. It's not like Nick could understand or witness my distress considering he hasn't been here. I fight back the urge to admit to myself that I miss his obnoxious ways about things, such as urging me to join him on a mystery fixture or forcing me to do something that I will blindly end up grateful for later on. As I sit aside an unknown person on the campus bench, the mental images of his Nick's subtle face seems to make me shift in my seat. I wait for Katherine, knowing that once she arrives I'll have to fraud my way through a joyous mood. I look around to observe my surroundings, noticing the silence through the interior of the campus.

"Layla," I hear Katherine sprout behind me before grabbing my shoulder, "sorry I took a while. I was talking to the guy from biology, Lucas, he invited me to get together tonight." As she held onto my shoulder, she steered her body in front of mine and glanced down to meet my tired eyes. "We should totally go. His place is just a few blocks away and I have this jean jacket that-"

"You can, I probably won't," I cut her off before she got ahead of herself which seemed to dissolve her beaming smile, "I'm not feeling too well, let alone feel like going to a party after last week." I told Katherine about David on Sunday after she walked in on me crying in my dorm room which then led to me begging her to keep quiet about it, specifically not telling Garret. I know Garret, he would blame himself for what happened since he had left to break up a brawl between drunk and uncontrollable boys. I couldn't bear to see his face when finding out about his friend, so I had simply decided against it. And I clearly didn't mention what had happened after I ran away from David. "Sorry."

"I get it," she crosses her arms over her chest, "I just thought it would be nice for you to get out. You haven't left your room in days."

"I've been going to class-"

"That's not enough," Katherine shook her head, "I respect your decision to not tell anyone about the -" she hesitated, "incident, but you have to understand if you decided against reporting him then you have to take it upon yourself to handle the situation. Staying cooped up isn't going to do anything but put you in a shittier state of mind."

"Katherine-" I groan, not wanting to be lectured right now.

"You don't have to go," she interrupted with a forceful smile, "but just keep that in mind, please." Katherine reached for my hand, hauling me off the bench. "Let's go get some coffee."

Katherine and I made our way to the coffee shop down the sidewalk that rests next to the library. As we're walking through the chilly weather, the breeze tickles my neck and the crisp sounds of the leaves under my feet is making me feel resilient. We passed by the side door of the library, a flashback of myself appeared in my head of when I followed Nick out to his car before he took me to the Tallulah Gorge. A sly smile creased my lips and I peer down, focusing on my feet and quickly force my smile to disappear, knowing that it's too dangerous to risk my feelings towards Nick in front of Katherine. I feel a slight murmur in my back pocket, leading me to quickly snatching it from the intuition that it might be Nick. I look to see a text notification from Lilian, a picture of her cat, Clyde. I sigh and glance up to make sure that Katherine was still occupied with digging in her wallet before going to Nick and I's text thread. I take a gaping breath before letting the screen get punched by my thumbs.

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