What Could've Been

if I was uninhibited

C H A P T E R 3

L A N E L L E

I walk to the kitchen, looking forward to nothing but the sweet and diabetes-inducing piece of goodness I was about to ravish. I opened the fridge and was retrieving the leftover cake I bought two nights ago when a knock on the door startled me.

I held a hand to my beating heart, not because of the unexpected visitor on the other side of the door but because I had nearly dropped the cake.

"Who is it?" I shouted, placing the cake on the counter before I went over to the foyer to check who was at the door. My parents were gone for the weekend and expected to return on Sunday so except for them, I wasn't expecting any visitors... especially in the evening.

I checked the peephole and was met with the eyes of my friend boring into my own. I moved my head away, chuckling to myself before I unlocked the door. My party-dressed friend sashayed into my house, looking a bit inebriated.

"Well look who we have here, that's quite an early time for you to end the night. Was the party boring?" I asked as I closed the door and walked back into the kitchen to get a slice of cake. My friend naturally followed suit, her platform heels click-clacking behind me.

"No, I've come here to... Lanelle." She suddenly called my name like the way a mother would when they reprimand their child.

"What?" Confused, I averted my gaze to whatever had her tsk-tsking from her end and my eyes widened as I swiftly went to hide the cake back into the fridge.

"I didn't eat it, I swear." I quickly got on my defenses but she only shook her head at me, disappointment evident in her eyes.

"I knew I made the right call to come here. You were about to stuff yourself with cake as you sulked away, weren't you?" She deduced, eying me hard.

"I promise you I wasn't going to drown in my feels. I just simply couldn't let the cake go to waste, y'know?" I expressed with a nervous chuckle as I watched her advance toward me.

She placed a hand on my shoulder once she neared me. "We're going to that party tonight and I'm not taking a no for an answer."

"But I've got nothing to wear." I excused but really, it wasn't that. I was breaking out a little and my weight had increased ever since I used food as a coping mechanism to deal with my lingering heartbreak from my last relationship and the everyday stresses of just existing. Being self-conscious at a party I knew a certain someone would be at wasn't worth going to.

"I'm sure you have something in there that we can work with." She said as she quite literally dragged me to my bedroom.

"I don't..." I muttered but it was futile when Naomi set her mind on something.

"Naomi I don't wanna go," I whined as she opened my bedroom door.

"Why are you so against going?" Naomi asked once we were inside my room.

I paused for a second, debating on whether I should tell her the real reason why I was so inclined to stay home. I didn't want her to think that Rei still had that sort of hold on me but if truth be told, he did.

"Rei is at the party." I decided to reveal, no longer caring if she thought I was a fool for allowing my ex to still have this much power in my life.

"Oh..." She began with a neutral expression but then she uttered a big 'Oh' once she apprehended the situation and everything I filled her in about my relationship with him seemed to flash in her mind.

"And I'm guessing the wound is still fresh?" She asked.

"Kinda..." I responded, for some reason I was avoiding her gaze.