What Could've Been

if there was no seeds of doubt

C H A P T E R  5

*Naomi's faceclaim above*

L A N E L L E

"Wow. I should start charging for how good I make you look." Naomi said as she admired the miracle she performed on me whilst I was glancing at my reflection in the full-length mirror.

"I think so too because damn," I say, taking in my face that was once marred with spot cream, looking unblemished, airbrushed, and contoured. No longer was I sporting my pyjamas, I was now wearing this khaki spaghetti strap mini dress that hugged my curves perfectly. We thank God for shapewear shorts, my little stomach pudge was no more. I paired the dress with an oversized jean jacket and combat boots.

"You should do makeup as a side hustle for real — you can change lives," I say, adding another coat of lipgloss to my lips because there was no such thing as too much.

"Girl stop." Naomi nudged me, suddenly feeling shy but I could tell from the smile peeking through that she was eating my compliment up.

"I'm being serious. I don't know when it was the last time I felt beautiful." I said truthfully. The word beautiful didn't resonate with me. Even when my mother would tell me. Even when my ex who was otherworldly would say it, I didn't believe it. I didn't feel it. But right now? I feel I could get any guy I want or make a certain someone grovel at my feet. Or was that wishful thinking? He doesn't even seem to miss me.

"Girl you were always beautiful. I just wish you could see it."

"Oh, I do now. Thanks to your beautiful work." I winked at her upon saying so.

"Okay enough with the compliments." Naomi quickly dismissed me but I already noticed her ears reddening. She was honestly the cutest — in the rare moments where she would show her modest side, and look-wise. Naomi was your gorgeous blasian baddie who along with her short height, had a short fuse but beyond that authoritative layer, she was a big softie. With a voluptuous body and dimpled smile, Naomi was the embodiment of cute and sexy, and that transpired in her personality.

"It's okay to be complimented," I stated, laughing at her.

"Speak for yourself." She retorts and I could only gasp.

"Touché."

"So how do you feel about probably seeing him again after so long?" Naomi asks out of the blue. It's been three months since the breakup and the last time I saw him. School since then had rolled out for the year and all that was left was this informal end-of-senior year/graduation party we were heading to. The thought of seeing him again made me a bit anxious. I'm scared that I find out I'm the only one stuck in the past and he's moved on even though we didn't get the closure we needed.

"I'm gonna be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared that I find out he stopped caring about me even though he has every right to." I flat-out confessed to which Naomi with a sympathetic pout on her face, gave me a little hug.

"Well, you can just avoid him and have fun with me." Naomi proposed but I know she was being serious.

"No."

"No? You're not thinking of staying cooped up at home when you're looking this good, are you?" Naomi questioned, awaiting my answer.

"No, I'm going to the party but I'm not avoiding him either."

"Are you going to seek him out then?"

"Yes, there are some things I want to offload. I need to move on. I'm tired of crying over him." Saying that in itself gave me a sense of peace I haven't had the fortune to experience ever since he flipped my world upside down. I'm going to be honest, I didn't want to do it but I know my future self will thank me for it. Also, since we're high-school leavers and have each other blocked on all socials, this is kinda my only window of opportunity.