Utterly Forgettable | MM Romance | Complete

Six: Are You Still In Love With Him? (2/2)

The question hit him like a ton of bricks. It was the one thing Josh had been trying not to think about for the past week, and not because he didn't already know the answer. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it away from his face. "It doesn't matter either way."

Mark held his gaze without judgment. "It doesn't matter? Isn't that the only thing that matters?"

"No." One syllable answers wouldn't help his case, but he had the right to be childish.

"No you don't love him, or no it doesn't matter?"

He sighed. "No, it doesn't matter. I can't forgive him. I can want to help him, I can want to see him healthy and happy and well, but I can't forgive him. Doesn't matter how much I care."

"What is it with this guy, anyway?" If an exhale could sound annoyed, then Mark would be the one to pull it off. "Why couldn't you have been hung up on Brian?"

"Brian?" Now there was a surprising analogy. "I lived with Brian for four years; how much more hung up on him could I have been?"

"This may come as a shock to you, but people tend to be a bit more heartbroken when their relationships come to an end than you were."

"He had an incredible career opportunity in Australia. What do people do in that situation, chain their boyfriends to the foot of the bed?" Josh was going to throttle Mark sooner or later if he didn't wipe that patronizing look off his face.

"People discuss said career opportunities. They contemplate moving with their significant others, or trying to make it work long distance. If they figure none of that will work out they'll at least feel sad for a while. What they don't do is go 'oh, wow, that's excellent for you. When are you moving out?' I felt sorry for him, and for you it was all business as usual."

"It wasn't that I wanted him to go," Josh muttered.

"No," Mark agreed, "it was just that you didn't care one way or the other. And that's always been the case with you. Even supposedly serious relationships don't faze you. So what's so different about this guy that you still can't get him out of your head?"

"I..." He didn't know how to even begin explaining it. "I don't know. I guess... With Brian, I always knew we'd end up having a thing. He was exactly the kind of man I go for, I could tell it was mutual, I was ready for that. Emery isn't my type, and on top of that he was my boss. I never expected to feel anything for him. He just kind of snuck up on me."

Mark leaned back against the wall, giving Josh back his space. "And then he went and ruined it."

"Pretty much, yes. Even that... There's a tragic backstory behind it all. Emma told me the details, it's like a horrible B series movie plot, but he lived it. I just don't think one thing justifies the other."

"Not knowing the tragic backstory I can't speak to that, but what he said to you—"

"Was unforgivable. So whatever I may feel for him doesn't matter in the end. I'm sorry to disappoint, but you won't get to punch me in the face."

"I suppose I'll take it. Now, how about that lunch?

#

"This is why I bring food to your house," Mark said, settling on the sofa with a grin, "the luxury of napkins."

Josh snorted. "You have napkins at home."

"Yeah, but I never know where."

"In your third kitchen drawer, where they always are."

"Really?" Mark seemed to find the information fascinating. "Third from the top or the bottom?"

"You only have five drawers," Josh replied with an eye roll, "it's the third whichever way you look at it. How is it that you still don't know how many drawers your own kitchen has?"