Journal- XIII (Move out)

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Good- "you don't have to worry, dad.."

(That's what I said to him..)

(I don't know if dad believe me, but after that he didn't question me anymore...)

He patted my head

(That's the only thing I could tell him so I won't ruin this family so much...)

Dad- "Dad's understands, I won't make it hard for you.."

(I don't know what's in his mind... but I guess I succeed at reassuring him that there's no problem between me and mom... but since then, it was noticeable that dad put extra care for me. SO NOTICEABLE, they made me wary of how the other family members reacted to that, since then my days turned a lot warmer...)

Dad- "Leave the dishes to the maid, go change your clothes, let's go shopping and eat delicious food with dad"

Del- "Shopping and foods?? how about me dad? why didn't you ask me to go with you instead??"

Dean- "It's been a long time!"

Dad- "Sorry, dears! but no sibling only me and your younger brother"

He put an extra care to make sure that I feel part of this family...

(Every time mom gave something special only for big brother and sister... without fail, dad would do that same special treatment to me.. the emptiness that mother has left, he filled it with his warmth.. and make sure that I'm getting the same love that mom gave to my older sibling)

But the love that I received from dad made mom insecure...

Mama- "Good is 19 now, honey... he will apply for university soon, why don't we let him live independently in Thailand."

Dad- "There's a good university nearby, why does he have to move out too far?"

Mama- "He can apply to a better university in Thailand behind he know very well Thai besides, experiencing an independent life is necessary for a young man.."

Why???

(Is it because you were worried that the truth about me leaking out?)

Mama- "You should discuss this with Good first instead of  me"

Dad- "Let him decide"

Mama- "I will support whatever he wants, Good will always follow our decision that's why I am asking you first..."

Dad- "NONSENSE! let the boy do anything he wants"

Mama- "Don't try to..."

(Is it because I took dad from you and onee-chans??)

BLEW.... BLEW.... BLEW

(Were you waiting for this???)

So little by little you want to separate yourself and this family from me...

Little by little

These ties that I hold on to...

They have to be cut too??

Is that what you want???


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