Death Becomes Us (Dazai x Reader)

Chapter One

A/N

Here is my new (rewrite of my old) Dazai x reader story! Just as a heads up, I will be altering some time line things to fit your character in in the ways I want. The main thing is that I am messing with the timelines of people joining so that your character can build and have good relationships before Atsushi joins and all the fun begins. Anyways, hope y'all enjoy!!

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Dazai's thoughts wouldn't leave him alone as he walked the streets of Yokohama. His mind was spinning to the point it blurred his vision. The world was tunneling in around him as he headed to his first day at his new job. 

So much had happened in the past few days and the more he thought about it, the worse it all became. Sure, he was happy for the opportunity, grateful the Special Gifted Operations Division had been able to wipe his slate clean despite how wrong that felt, satisfied that he was on the way to fulfilling his promise to Oda. He couldn't help but wonder if the cost was worth it all.

"Better just to forget. Better not to think about it." he muttered to himself, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat and shaking his head slightly to rid it of the image of his friend as he had lain dying in Dazai's arms just a few weeks before.

Turning a corner, he sighed. The movement, the reminder had not served its purpose. Even now, all he could see was their faces. Ango, Oda, Akutagawa, Chuuya, and Mori. The betrayal, the pain, the questions, the death. He didn't really feel bad about leaving them per say, more intimidated honestly. It was strange, a foreign thing to a man normally so self assured. The Port Mafia had been the only real home he had ever known. He was happy to be leaving it in one sense but in another, he had known who he was when he was there. In the Mafia, it had been easy to see the path of his future, to do the things expected of him. With the blank slate ahead of him, the uncertainty in his chest took on an almost cannibalistic nature.

And what of the blank slate his past had become? Even with his crimes erased from public record, would he be able to move pas him? Dazai had spent so long hurting, he didn't know if he was capable of the sort of kindness this new life required anymore. He wondered if it was ever something he had even been capable of in the first place.

"I did the right thing." he murmured as he reached the building that housed his new place of employment, "I am doing the right thing."

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"Oiii Kunikida!" called Y/n as she spun around in her desk chair, the tips of her big white wings dragging slightly along the floor "That new recruit is coming in for his first day today, right?"

"Yes, he is." Kunikida calmly replied as he walked by with his nose stuck in his notebook, "Would you please stop doing that."

He put his hand on the back of her chair, stopping Y/n's spinning. In response, she stuck her tongue out at him in a playful manner.

"You're no fun Kunikida!"

Rampo laughed from where he sat on his desk eating gummy bears.

"Kunikida's right Y/n. You don't wanna freak the new guy out, do you?" hummed Tanizaki from his desk where he was pretending to do work.

"Like me spinning in a desk chair is gonna freak some guy out." Y/n scoffed, standing up only to fall into Kunikida for support as the world spun around her.

"Dizzy.." she hummed softly balling her fists into the soft fabric of his vest.

Kunikida patted her head lightly before helping her over to her desk which she sat on top of, placing a hand to her forehead as she recentered her vision. Rampo walked up beside her, staring down at his friend as he offered her a gummy bear which she gladly accepted.