At the End of the Garden

Chapter Nine

It wasn't just Angie, I didn't want anyone to see me. I was late that day to form because I rushed straight to the toilets to hide. I found it easier to get a hold of myself when I looked in the mirror and realised that I was a mess. The mascara I'd got used to wearing everyday was smudged. Rather than having any Hollywood-like black tear streaks down my face, it was around my eyes making me look like a raccoon.
But what did it matter? Everyone had their opinions of me anyway. Eden Quinn's girlfriend and whatever ideas that gave people. Angie was probably in that classroom telling all her new friends something awful about me.
I tried to use wet toilet roll to clean the mascara and collect whatever crumbs of my reputation remained. The roughness of the tissue made the skin around my eyes redder, which I didn't think was possible. I took to dabbing my eyes rather than rubbing them, but the damaged had already been done. I figured I looked better than I had when I first walked in and attempted to use my hair to hide my face before finally going to Form.
If I hadn't been worried about being tardy, I would of hidden in the toilets a little longer. I realised a little too late that it didn't matter. The bell had rung almost ten minutes ago. What difference was another five going to make? However, leaving at the time I did meant I was lucky enough to run into the only other student wondering the corridor this late into lesson time.
"Woah. What's the matter?"
I had tried to keep my head down in hopes that he might not notice me, but it had been difficult when he was coming at me from the opposite direction. Trying to avoid him probably made it worse. Sidney had jumped out in front to stop me from walking past him.
"You okay?" He asked when he didn't get an immediate answer.
I wish he hadn't asked. That simple question made me want to start crying again.
"I got into an argument with Angie. That's all."
"Huh? What about?"
I remembered that I'd told Sidney I wouldn't tell Angie that he spread the rumour. But I'd failed that.
"I'm late to Form." Were the words that tumbled out my mouth.
"Yeah, 'course. Did she find out?"
I nodded, dropping my head more than I did lift it. Sidney just laughed nervously.
"That was always gonna happen I guess." Sidney said. "I can't see why she'd take it out on you, though."
I was too busy trying to think of ways to leave than ways to answer him. The more I let him look at me, the more obvious it became about how upset I'd been and I was beginning to care about how my face was viewed by his eyes.
"I'll let you go to form." He said, probably realising he was having a one sided conversation. "And - err - cheer up." As he spoke he awkwardly patted my arm, then seemed to really regret it.
"I'll try." I replied unenthusiastically.
He hummed, clearly not convinced by my unconvincing answer. "Oh - um, you like chocolate right?"
"What - I mean - I suppose, who doesn't?" I answered. "Why?"
"You're gonna be late." He said, shrugging his shoulders and continuing on his path.

My normal scheduled had been torn apart. Usually, I'd spend my break with Angie. All I could do today was watch her with a different group of girls from a distance, knowing I wasn't wanted. I was tempted to go and hide in a toilet cubicle again, but instead I evaluated my other options.
Eden was sitting with his friends, likely pretending he was interested in the conversation he was a part of. I knew all of them all as 'boys in our class', but I wondered what they thought of Eden. He was cold, all the time. He smiled and spoke only when he had to. He never went out with them on weekends unless it was a birthday or whatever event. Unlike me and Angie who had spent countless Saturday afternoons in each other's presence. How did he manage to make so many friends? The sociable one growing up had always been me. In fact, he had always been shy. I couldn't comprehend how or when our roles had reversed.
Before Angie, Eden had been my closest friend in school, we'd do everything together the same way we promised we would when we went to separate primary schools. I suppose it became weird for a boy and girl to be so close at such an age. I wish it didn't.
It still felt strange approaching him, even if I was his girlfriend. Wouldn't it look weird if I just walked up and asked for him to spend his time with me instead of his friends? Perhaps, if he were alone, I might have had to courage to talk to him, but he was surrounded by so many people. What would they all think of me then? If the only friend I had was my boyfriend? I felt the need to hide again, so I scuttled away like a mouse and spent my break hiding behind the doors of a toilet cubicle.