I was driving myself to the boys 'show' since obviously I had no one else to go with and the boys had to be there early. I didn't need to be following them around like lost puppies.
I had a weird feeling about tonight but I pushed it aside because things had been going very well, especially with Luke and I since we did the deed. I can honestly say I wake up everyday questioning how any of this came to be.
When I got to the place they were performing, it was a little bigger than I expected, but still a small, starter type place. It had more of a bar type vibe and there was already an attracted crowd.
I sat in the back at a table, waiting for them to come onstage. It was taking longer than expected so I grabbed some random smoothie before finding my spot again. I didn't know if Luke wanted me to come see him before they came on or not but I decided on staying seated.
Looking at the crowd, it was a defiant mix of faces but a few recognizable ones. I realized a few people from school were here, I guess word got around, which just made me hide away even more.
They had just came onstage when someone took a seat across from me, he looked about my age but I ignored him for a while, keeping my focus on the four boys ready to perform.
They opened with their own song, that blew me away I mind you, before playing a couple covers. I knew they were all quite talented but seeing them perform together was captivating, I was proud of them.
"Hey, I'm Josh." The guy across the table from me finally spoke up.
"Violet." I smiled before turning back.
I don't know how but by a couple songs later, Josh and I were in a full on conversation. This wasn't like me, but then again none of this was a few months ago but things changed so I was really trying my best to just be normal, whatever that is.
When the boys were done, I didn't even realize until I heard everyone clapping and cheering. I collected Josh's number before heading back to congratulate Luke. I had a smile on my face until I turned the corner to see Ashley with her arms wrapped around him. He went to return the hug until he saw me and his eyes widened, I couldn't make out what emotions were flashing across his face but I quickly bolted the other way before she could notice me.
I ended up running into Michael and he tried asking me what was wrong, seeming as it was obviously I wasn't okay, but my thoughts were still too jumbled to speak. I guess in a way, I had no right to be mad.
Sometimes I forgot he was still Luke Hemmings and I was still Violet, the freak who didn't speak. After opening up to Luke about how bad she treated me, I guess I just expected him to not be so close with her but that was clearly dumb of me.
Why would I be more important? He's known her longer and she's way better, I wouldn't doubt it if he's starting to realize how much better of he'd be without me.
"I'm not good enough." I had whispered it, more to myself but had forgotten Michael was still standing there.
"What?"
"I don't know, Michael. It was nothing, I just came back here to tell you guys how proud I am of you but before I could do that I caught the lovely sight of Ashley all over Luke." I sighed, shrugging.
"I'm sure she was just throwing herself at him like-"
"Violet?" Luke called out, interrupting Michael.
"We need a minute." Luke said to Michael, trying to sound calm but not doing a good job.
"Okay, I'll be right out here even though I'll still be able to hear you guys."
"Violet, what the hell was that?" Luke finally broke the silence, both confusing and shocking me.
"What?" I said, barely audible.
I was already on the verge of cracking from beating myself up so much, and I didn't want to let Luke see that because I was a big enough bother to him, but what could he possibly be talking about?
"You, with that guy!"
"What are you talking about, Luke?" I was staying calm, but I knew what he said next would throw me over the edge.
"You were out there all buddy, buddy with that guy while we were performing, you weren't even paying attention to me, I mean us."
"Do you hear yourself, Luke? You're crazy! He came over to me, I'm not tell him to get the fùck away from me. We didn't even talk for a while and when we did I was still paying attention to you guys. Why are you even worried about it?"
"Because you're mine, Vi. I don't want anyone to take you away from me." He sighed, rubbing his eyes.
"Are you serious? Do you not understand how in love I am with you? I have never been like this with anyone else, no one could even pay me to leave you. I come back here ready to congratulate you and I see Ashley all over you, but you're worried about me with some random guy I'll probably never see again? Loving your double fùcking standard, Luke!" By this point I was on the verge of tears.
"That's different, you know nothing will ever happen with us. You know I can't stand her, I just can't show it, I can't "randomly" not like her since she doesn't know we're a thing. Let me be like, "yeah Ashely, by the way I hate you because you're a complete bítch to my girlfriend.""
"I don't care, Luke. I don't deserve you in the first place and she's so much better than me, so much prettier, and she has so much more to offer and she doesn't come with all the shít I do." I was crying at this point, I could feel the tears streaming down my face.
"You don't even understand how ridiculous that is, Violet." He said, rushing over to me and wiping under my eyes with his thumbs.
"You're so beautiful, inside and out. I love everything about your outside appearance but you're also extremely intelligent and funny, you're a challenge, you always have been and you always will be but luckily, I like challenges. You're a good kind of challenge that I'll always be here to face, okay? She doesn't compare to you in the slightest bit. You're so much better than her, I wish you'd see it." He added, which only made me cry more and realize how lucky I really was to have someone so kind and understanding.
"You guys okay in here?" Ashton knocked and peeked in, we nodded.
I wiped my eyes before we headed back out, I realized I still needed to talk to them about how well they played. I was still amazed.
"You guys did great, really. I can't really explain everything I'm feeling, but I'm just proud of you. You guys looked like you belonged up there." I smiled as Michael pulled us in for a group hug.
I could get use to this, friends, boyfriend. Sure, it's a lot of extra drama but it's worth the extra mile when you finally feel like someone cares.
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Sorry short filler chapter bc I wanted to put something up but I have barely slept in days so
Next few chapters start really hitting the drama ok
Also this is gonna end soon not like 2 or 3 chapters soon but just soon but I have a plan for when this is finish so stay tuned !! and I'll try to update again tonight (it's like 8am for me rn) or something bc this is boring and messy per usual
