wherein y/n opens a bakery next door to the home of troubled fbi agent dr spencer reid.
during the aftermath of 'revelations,' where spencer is still battling his addiction. however, the members of the team does not exactly line up with this timeli...
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CHAPTER FOUR: ROUTINE —————————
ITS A ROUTINE now, that he'd be here any day he was in town, bright and early before anyone else. a black coffee with room for sugar and half a blueberry muffin. the other half, he decided a few weeks ago, was for me. sometimes he'd sit for a while, look over some paper work, read an entire book with a million pages or write in one of his various notebooks and eat his half of our muffin. those mornings, i'd simply watch him while eating my own half. sometimes we'd talk, but most of the time he would just let me look at him— like really look at him, occasionally throwing me smiles or reading an interesting fact out loud. it was peaceful and it meant everything but meant nothing at all.
other mornings, he would be frazzled and rushed and a complete 180 from the spencer i had grown to know in the two months i'd been here. he would simply rush in, pay for his order and leave. sometimes he'd give me a small, forced smile. but usually on those mornings, he wouldn't even look me in the eye. i'd never dare to ask what it was that was bothering him, scared he'd lash out like the day we met or afraid of ruining a peaceful morning by bringing it up any other time.
today, i knew right away, was not a good day for spencer reid.
he practically barged through the door, a few frown on his features and his phone pressed to his ear. "emily, will you just leave it alone! i'm not acting differently and it has nothing to do with what happened. i'll see you at work." he hung up abruptly.
i would have commented, made a joke about the tension of the phone call if it were another day, but i knew to keep my mouth shut. spencer doesn't want to snap at me anymore than i want snapped at, he just seems to have short fuse on days like this.
he came up to the counter, his hands shaking. they always seemed to be shaking on his stressful days, it was odd but i would never mention it.
"here you go, spence." he put a shaky hand into his pant pockets before i stopped him. "it's on the house." he looked like he was about to protest, i wanted him to. not because i didn't want him to have his order for free. i don't care about that, but because i wanted to hear his voice. he stopped himself before saying anything. still, he took the money out of his pocket and put it into the tip jar. i rolled my eyes and sighed.
he looked up.
"you know, i mean it. it's on the house. you putting the money in the tip jar defeats the whole purpose." i smiled at him, normally he finds my smiles contagious. not today. he blinked at me, nodded and then took his stuff before walking away.
strange.
————
i didn't see him again for two weeks. and when i did see him, it wasn't like either of the two kind of spencer's i knew. he wasn't open and inviting, warm and happy with a smile and a book. but he wasn't cold and quick, abrupt and borderline rude either. he was...normal. he was just like any other customer.
he came in, ordered a black coffee— with room for sugar— as though i didn't already know his order. he didn't say hi, he just ordered, paid and left.
he did this every day for a week before i dared to speak to him about it.
"i thought we were friends." it was a slip up, i hadn't planned on saying it. i had planned on keeping it professional like he seemed to want me to, but then he made too much eye contact and i couldn't hold my tongue anymore.
"y/n.." he started, but he trailed off before even really getting my name out.
"no. spencer, i just, like i know we weren't the best of friends in the world. but i'm new here still and if someone where to ask me three weeks ago if i'd made any friends, i would have said yes, there's this guy i know. he comes into the bakery and we're becoming friends. but like, was i just being silly or something? because i get it, you're busy, so when you disappeared for two weeks i didn't think too much of it. but then, here you are, acting like you don't know me all week and it's like, go to another fucking shop to get your coffee if you're gonna act like that, because it's mean and it hurts my feelings." i took a deep breath, not worried if he had caught it all because although i know talk fast, i also know spencer can read twenty thousand words a minute so he had no trouble understanding my rambles.
"i'm sorry. i just..." he trailed off. he's hiding something, but who am i to pry? we're not even friends. " i have a lot going on right now, and this—with you, it'll only end up with you hurt because as much i would like to be your friend, i actually don't want to be friends at all. and right now, i cant afford to think like that."
"so you just started ignoring me? that's hardly fair, spencer. and maybe you don't have to time or whatever but you can't just act like you don't know me. i mean, you're saying you did all this not to hurt me when that's exactly what you did." i took a breath. "but, if there's anything i can do for you, because clearly there's more going here, then just— just ask. i'm here for you." he looked relieved and began to nod frantically.
"and spencer?"
"yeah?"
"can't we just stay friends? i promise i'll stop the flirting and the looks and everything else until you're ready. i want to be more, too, but really i just want us to be friends. i missed you." his hazel eyes softened.
