Chapter 14

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"Do you...like me?" shuhua says, I knew this question would come up. I know we have something. But I know I'm not ready to be with her.. I crossed the line last night and now I'm sure she's confused. Why am I so stupid and selfish.

"Shuhua of course I like you.. but last night, last night shouldn't have happened. I crossed the line and I'm sorry." I say pleadingly. I can't just break up with Hui, we just told everyone about us and I know he loves me, I can't hurt him but I don't want to hurt shuhua either. Either way, someones going to get hurt there's no winning.

"So last night was a mistake?" she says pulling herself away from me.

"Ugh no that's not what I meant, last night was great but I can't do this, us. it's all too confusing and I don't want to hurt you while trying to figure out everything." I say honestly.

" you should have thought about that before you kissed me!" she says angrily, she gets out of my bed and leaves the room.

For fuck sakes she's right. If I had just ignored my feelings for her everything would be fine.


Shuhuas pov

I thought that her kissing me might Mean she picks me. Like usual I'm getting hurt over and over by the same person, but I keep coming back. I need to talk to her and make some boundaries.

I walk back into our room and Soojins still on the bed looking sad.

"Okay listen, from now on where setting boundaries. You don't want me so I'm not getting my heart broken because you can't figure out your feelings. 'Firstly don't kiss me again, secondly, no unnecessary touching," that ones more for me than her I think to myself. "because I'm not going to wait around for someone that's never coming so if I'm with someone don't get in my way, where strictly friends" I say seriously.

She looks shocked at my statement but nods her head.

"So we're still friends," she says shyly.

"Ugh, yes we're still friends," I say sarcastically.

She gets up and hugs me I'm a bit stiff but melt right into it again.

"I'm really sorry Shuhua," She says I lean back and tears are in her eyes. I wipe her tears I want to kiss her so badly but of course I can't.

"Don't cry Soojin, I'm okay?" I say smiling trying my best to make her feel better. I'm torn I'm upset but also relieved knowing that she does have some sort of feeling for me, but even if she does have feelings for me I can't wait around for her anymore. I'm going to put me first with or without her.

..........

Shuhuas pov

Its been a week since the party and things are relatively normal between me and Soojin. Were both different I'm not so clingy and she's not as cold. She hasn't brought up Hui and whenever the members bring him up she changes the subject which I'm thankful for.

Me and Kino have been talking and have met up he's actually really cool and unlike any guy I've met. we've been hanging out nearly every day and I'm usually really shy but with him, it's so natural.

Soojin saw me and Kino at the cube cafe the other day and that was super awkward but she didn't bring it up when we went Home.

We aren't anything more than friends, there is a connection but I'm not ready for anything romantic and neither is he. We talked and he's in the same situation as me but obviously I didn't tell him who or that the person but were both sorts of recovering.

Kino and I are sitting at the cafe just eating and talking, he waves to someone and I look behind me and its Hui and Soojin.

"Hey, guys! come eat with us" Kino says. Waving them over, all I wanna do right now is leave.

I'm biting the side of my mouth nervously awaiting them, It's not an uncommon sight to see Soojin and Hui but I've avoided having to hang around them together. Kino doesn't know any better either he would just think that I wouldn't mind them sitting with us considering he knows Soojin's one of my best friends.

"Hey Shuhua" Hui says smiling, he shakes Kino's hands and Soojin and him sit opposite to us. Soojin in front of me and Hui in front of Kino.

" Hi, unnie," I say casually.

"Hi, Shuhua," she says smiling nervously.

"I heard that you and the girls are heading to America soon you must be excited," Hui says enthusiastically.

"Yes of course! who wouldn't be where going to America, I really want to try there hamburgers" I say truthfully.

"Wait you're going to America when do you leave?" kino says.

"We leave in a week" I reply casually.

"No way I'm gonna miss you," he says cutely. I smile "Kino ill only be gone for a week and a few days"

I look to where soojin is and she's staring daggers at Kino, I kick her foot under the table and she just looks at me with a cold expression.

"yeah I'm going to miss Soojin too," hui says kissing her cheek. She doesn't reply but smiles a little bit.

"So what's going on here," Hui says laughing lightly pointing between theme and kino. Kino kicks Hui under the table loud enough for us to hear. I laugh at his reaction.

" Where friends," Kino says staring at hui looking like he's ready to attack him "What he said," I say amused.

Kino looks at me apologetically we both smile and I try to hold my laugh in seeing him so flustered.

"Shuhua lets head back to the studio now we have practice soon," Soojin says standing up ready to.

'Already? okay lets go" I reply

"I can walk you," kino says

"No it's okay I've got it," Soojin says before I can say anything.

Soojin kisses Hui on the Cheek and says bye.

"Bye guys," I say and leave with soojin holding my hand.

where walking to the studio soojin still holding my hand, it's silent but not awkward.

"So you and Kino are close," She says casually but her grip tightens on my hand slightly.

"Yeah he's a really cool guy and he's nice," I say back genuinely.

"That's good you deserve someone nice," She says quietly. 

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