PERFECT LOVE | SPENCER REID X READER

CHAPTER 11 ❤️

You're having trouble sleeping, so you're tossing and turning. You finally open your eyes and check the time. 3:30am. Fuck why am I awake. You turn over to snuggle back up to Spencer, but realize he's gone. You look around the room and he's no where to be found. You walk to the bathroom to see if he's in there but he isn't. You walk to the living room and he's on the couch

"Spence..?" You whisper and he jumps turning to face you.

"Damnit you scared me" he said in a slightly angry voice. You were shocked because he never had raised his voice at you.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to" you said slowly turning around to go back to bed since he seemed angry

"Y/N, wait" he said standing up realizing he upset you. You stopped turning back towards him "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." He said apologetically.

"Why are you out here?" You asked

He shrugged turning back toward the couch

"Spence...what's wrong? You're not telling me something." You said sitting next to him

He sighed and looked at you. "There's something we need to talk about. I don't know how you'll take it, but just hear me out okay?" you nodded and sat waiting. You had a pit in your stomach. What was he so upset about he was awake and sitting in the dark? Was it me? The sex? Work? Your mind was racing. Spencer took a deep breath before speaking...

"So a few years back while working a case...I-I was taken by the unsub we were hunting" you immediately felt sick. This was your biggest fear and it's already actually happened to him. You closed your eyes trying to keep it together while he continued "He held me there and I tried to talk to him and stay calm. This had never happened before to me. And he started shooting me up with drugs. I couldn't stop him. He forced me." He said with tears in his eyes and you could feel yourself about to break, but you held it together again while he continued "I had never felt like that before. I had already been through so much and the pain just went away with the drugs. So after my team rescued me I tried to forget the drugs and how I felt, but I couldn't resist. I got addicted and started taking dilaudid.." he paused trying to hold back his tears "it took forever to get off of it but I still have nights where I can't sleep and I think back to being taken and all the pain I've been through. It makes me want to do it again" he finally broke down sobbing.

"Spence...I'm so so sorry" you said pulling him into you. "Look at me..you're not alone, okay? I'm here for you. I don't care what time of night or day it is if you feel pressured to do it again you tell me and we will talk about it or we don't have to talk you can lay here and cry." You kissed him on the cheek and held his hand. You started to cry yourself because of the pain on his face and because this was your biggest fear and then some.

"I don't know why but tonight's just one of those nights. They're random. Sometimes I go months without feeling like that." He said

"Have you talked to anyone about it? Your team?" You asked

"Oh god no. I don't think any of them even know. I don't want them to either" he said. he started rubbing his eye very aggressively..you grabbed his hand

"Babe stop..you'll hurt yourself." You said gently "come on let's go back to bed. You need some sleep." You grabbed his hand pulling him from the couch leading the way to his bedroom. You both climbed into bed and this time you let him lay on your chest while you played with his curly hair.

"Y/N?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but thank you for being here."