my thoughts random genuine

september two thousand twenty

Why do parents have to die? Why do they have to leave their clueless children behind on this materialistic world full of hedonistic millenials who think of nothing except their own self-satisfaction and narcissistic perceptions of 15 minute grandeur on anti-social media? Why do you have to leave us among these confused masses who do not follow their hearts and critical minds but get swayed by ideological emotions that transform into inhuman mobs wreaking havoc on defenseless humanity?

I feel lost in this world, rootless, origin-less, Mother and Father absorbed into Mother Nature, essences in suspended animation until the world unravels, if I ramble on like some New Age warbling lunatic who is heartless to the core. No.

It is with your Heart that you see the Truth. Human Heart. Your Heart of Hearts. The greatest proof of this Truest speech to your heart, if it gives you nothing but purest Love and none of the superficiality of anti-social media and the violence of vapid analysis. You withdraw from the shallow and the material and meditate in the Spiritual and Eternal, the True Realm of the Human Heart.

It is there that I finally understand. Maybe I understood all along, but the environment, digital and sociopathic, dissuaded the seeing heart all along. My parents did not leave me. They have been in my heart all along. If you don't stop remembering, then it is as if they never died. Whatever their failings, their absences, their errors, all debts are settled by death. The Greatest Settling of all of Humanity's debts and punishable sins was the death of Jesus on that Cross. You are Saved. My Parents are saved. And they are now beyond blame and radiant with innocence and love as they died and rose again.

They die because they need to return to God, the Ultimate Parent of All. God becomes your Father now 100% and if you only humbly accept this new and Spiritual reality, if I adhere to this faith unwaveringly till my last breath, I will never be bitter, I will never be conquered by sadness or depression, no pretending spirituous power can ever claim dominion now that my Parent is God Himself, through His Son Jesus Christ.

I have nothing to hold on but this Faith. I don't have faith in myself alone knowing I am a created being lovingly born into this world and the only strength that sustained me in my continuous suffering is the Love of God Himself.

"What is essential is invisible to the eye" never have I thought this trite line I heard in my high school days would be of outstanding purport till now. I can have all the wealth, fame, beauty, strength in this world, but yet still feel miserable. What is essential is invisible to the eye, and that is what saves me. We are little princes because of God's Love for His little princesses and princes who long to be embraced by this Eternal and yet unseen, very much felt Love.

Our Love for our long departed parents is purified and embraced by our Eternal Love for God. He feels this, I verily say to you. Never will this be ignored. And the fruits of this seeding is Eternity.

I care not for celebrating my birthday this month. I don't want "me" time with all the people electronically saying happy birthday. It is not wrong. I choose this year, this time, pandemic era, to remember my Mother, my Father. They deserve this as much. Loving son remembers. Prays. Begs the Lord for his parents' spiritual lodging and then Faith does the rest.

May you still guide while you stroll the Gardens of God, Mama, Papa. I will listen. I will pray. I will hold steadfast to Jesus Christ, just as you showed me.

May I also remember my aunt who supported me in my days at Ateneo. Pray for you always, remembering smiling and laughing and shining as when I was with you during those four short years.

Amen.