I love Shrek.
I was at the mall when a kid made fun of me.
"Mommy, why is he wearing a Shrek shirt?"
"Honey, he's just a weirdo. Stay away from people like that."
I was so angry. I know Shrek is angry too.
They're not worth it.
I go to Hot Topic to see if I can get a Shrek shirt.
There are none.
I ask an employee where they are.
He says they're out of style.
He says no one cares about Shrek anymore.
But I do.
I storm out angry.
I go to the food court to see if I can get something good.
Something with onions.
There's a Chinese restaurant. I walk over and ask for onion chicken.
The lady at the counter says they don't serve that.
She says they only serve garlic chicken.
What has this world come to...
I can't take it anymore.
I call for Shrek.
He flys through the ceiling.
I ask him to destroy the mall.
He rips the lady in half.
Everyone screams and runs away.
We go to Hot Topic.
Shrek kills the guy I talked to.
We stomp on everything in the store.
Then we get a gasoline can.
We pour it everywhere, then step outside.
I light a match.
I give it to Shrek.
"Here you go, mighty Shrek."
He throws it in the mall.
It explodes, and the whole mall is destroyed.
"Thank you Shrek," I say.
Then he flys into the sky.
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
