I love Shrek.
I own all the movies.
I have a Shrek lunchbox that I bring to school.
Everyone says I'm stupid.
They're the stupid ones.
I have math first period.
I take out my notebook.
It has a picture of Shrek on it.
The kid next to me calls me a cunt.
I call him a dirty ass liar and a bitch.
He tells on the teacher.
I get an office slip and I have to go see the principal.
The principal asks why I'm there.
I say because I swore in class.
He asks why I swore.
I say because he made fun of Shrek.
He starts laughing.
He says I can go back to class.
I go back and find that there's a note on my desk.
It says "it's all ogre now" from Shrek.
I knew he'd understand.
Then it's lunch time.
I sit down with my Shrek lunchbox.
I open it up.
Onions.
Irresistible.
A green fog rolls through the door.
I can't see.
When it clears, I see Shrek. He walks over to me.
"It's all ogre now."
He goes over to the kid who bullied me.
"This is my swamp!"
He shoves onions down the kid's throat.
The kid chokes.
He falls down unconscious.
The principal walks in.
Shrek runs over and roars in his face.
Then he grabs him and throws him out the door.
He then burps extremely loud.
The rooms smells overwhelmingly like onions.
"Better out than in," he says.
Then he flys out the window.
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
