I'm at Disney World.
It's so awesome.
I can't wait to ride the Shrek rides.
I walk all around.
Where are the Shrek rides?
Ugh, so many people.
Shrek would push them out of the way.
I see something that looks like an onion.
I run to it.
It's Cinderella's carriage.
Seriously?
I walk around the whole park, but there's nothing with Shrek.
I ask an employee about the rides.
Why aren't there any Shrek rides, I ask.
He says Shrek isn't Disney.
Shrek is Dream Works.
I bought a Disney ticket for no Shrek rides?
Well, I'll try to have fun.
It's so hot.
I need a mud bath to cool down.
There is no mud.
Why is there no mud?
I ask another employee where the mud bath is.
She says there are no mud baths here.
She starts laughing.
I get angry.
But I leave.
They at least have to have onions.
I go to a pizza restaurant.
I ask for some onions.
They ask why.
I say onions are awesome.
I say they are Shrek's favorite thing.
I say they have layers, just like me.
They start laughing.
I don't understand why they are laughing.
I get very angry.
Shrek angry.
I call for Shrek.
He comes down.
Everyone runs away screaming.
He asks why I called him.
I say the park has nothing dedicated to him.
I say that they don't even have onions.
He says that's insane.
I tell him to destroy the park.
He punches the restaurant with his powerful ogre hands.
It falls down.
Then he takes a giant bucket full of onion powder.
He pours it everywhere in the park.
Then he leads it to a TNT barrel.
A big one.
He takes some earwax out of his ear.
He strikes it against a Mickey Mouse picture.
It lights up.
He throws it at the onion power.
The trail starts to burn.
It leads to the TNT barrel.
The barrel explodes.
The park is destroyed.
I tell him that Fiona is lucky to have a man like him.
He grins and says everyone has layers.
Even you, he says.
I almost pass out.
Then he flys away.
P.S. My friend Kayla400 came up with the Disney World idea. Thank her for the story!
