Tomorrow [H.S. || A.U.]

Chapter 48

I'm trying live, I'm trying rise
Above the shit the Devil tries
Which is why I keep my eyes to the sky

Today is Gramps' oncology consultation.

I'm really nervous.

I have no idea what the doctor can offer Gramps and I.

Gramps has also been trying to act like he isn't in pain, but I can tell that he is. I mean, he has cancer tumors all through him, I can imagine that doesn't feel good.

I called his general physician and asked if he would be able to prescribe painkillers for Gramps, which he was glad to do.

But when I brought them home, Gramps stupidly read the warning label. Since the pain killers were strong and opioids, the side effect page was pretty intense.

It said something along the lines of, 'you might get addicted and don't take too many because it could result in death'. He then said that he doesn't want to risk taking them because death seems like a pretty severe side effect.

I tried to convince him that he won't get addicted and die from taking a damn pain pill once a day. But his stubborn ass has his head set on not taking them.

I have been trying to stay hopeful, the best I can with the situation.

Venus was right when she said that I need to stay positive in front of Gramps. I can tell that this situation is getting to him more than he wants to let on.

And since I have no control over the cancer or the treatment really, the best way I can help is just being there for him and keeping his spirits up.

I save my mental breakdowns for Venus or my shower.

Venus has been such a big help to me recently. I honestly would have probably lost my mind by now if she wasn't around.

She hasn't left my side for a second since New York when we found out. I couldn't be more thankful for her.

Venus also eventually convinced me to call my mum and tell her what was going on with Gramps.

I spared my mum some of the details as to not worry her too much and to give her some hope as well.

She said that her, my father, and my sister would come to visit once their schedules clear up and they can get time off of work.

Currently, I am trying to not get too frustrated with the fact that I have been waiting in this waiting room of the oncology office for and hour now. I don't understand, we have an appointment at one in the afternoon and it's two now, yet we still haven't been called back to see the doctor.

Gramps doesn't seem to care though, the television in the waiting room is playing a football game.

Venus brought her laptop and has been working on homework beside me as we wait. I also brought my laptop to do the same, I am just having trouble focusing. I'm anxious to hear what the doctor has to say and can't seem to focus on anything other than the possibilities of what the outcomes of this appointment will be.