The Age of Daenerys Targaryen

Part 45: Fear of love

"The wound is healing well", Kinvara stated as she changed Jaqen H'ghar's bandage. "You should still be in bed for a few more days because of the blood loss."

"A man has survived worse", said the Faceless Man.

"Yes, death, for example", replied the high priestess dryly while looking at the terrible old scars on Jaqen's upper body. "Could it be that this made Jaqen H'ghar ... no one, as your guild says?"

"Maybe", the assassin replied curtly.

"And who was Jaqen H'ghar before?", Kinvara wondered aloud.

"That doesn't matter."

The Red Priestess looked Jaqen in the eye. "What if I guess? Just give me one try."

Jaqen shrugged his good shoulder. "As a servant of the Red God likes."

Kinvara said the name. Jaqen's face was completely blank, but a flicker in his eyes gave him away. Both looked at each other for a moment in silence.

"If Daenerys hadn't had so many other things on her mind, she would have come up with the solution", said the priestess. "At some point she will most certainly do it. Maybe you want to tell her beforehand?"

"Aren't you going to tell the Empress?", Jaqen replied.

Kinvara smiled. "No. At least not now. Daenerys doesn't need any distraction right now."

"As a man said", said the assassin, "it doesn't matter what he used to be. He's no one now."

"You are no one because you chose to be no one," Kinvara said. "But you are free to reconsider your decision. Just like Arya Stark did."

"She didn't want to be no one," Jaqen agreed. "What about her now?"

"She is being held and interrogated at Imperial Intelligence Headquarters. They won't be too ... brutal in the interviews. After all, the princess is our most precious hostage."

"Well. Despite everything", Jaqen pointed to his injured shoulder, "the man likes her."

Kinvara looked at the man meaningfully. "Would 'no one' care about Arya Stark? Shouldn't a servant of the Many-Faced God live only for his faith and his duties?

"Shouldn't that also apply to the First Servant of the Lord of Light?", replied Jaqen. "The man has not overlooked your affection for the Empress. You two treat each other as if you were sisters."

"R'hllor does not expect His servants to be no one", said Kinvara. "I know you think He is an aspect of the Many-faced God, but the differences between our faiths cannot be denied. That being said ... don't try to make me believe that you don't care about Daenerys."

Jaqen reached out and ran his hand over the tiny, scaly skull of the sleeping Daarion, curled up on the bedside table. "The guild has made an agreement with the Empire, that's all. For gold and more gold and for the imperial authorities to look the other way when we go about our... business, we are at the service of Daenerys. A word from her, and King Bran, Queen Sansa, Lord Tyrion and every other leading member of the Alliance are dead."

"The Empress only wants to go that far when there is no other option", Kinvara reminded him.

The assassin nodded. "Instead, we're teaching her the best way to defend herself against assassins. Unusual, certainly, but ultimately just another job."

"And who chose you to be Daenerys' instructor? Isn't it the case that you assigned yourself the task?"

Jaqen made a face. "Because the man is the best choice for it."

"You are not no one", Kinvara stated firmly. "Maybe you were once, but things changed when you met Arya Stark. She reminded you of what you used to be, and Daenerys..." The priestess shrugged her shoulders meaningfully. "Listen, if you want to keep your secret, I respect this decision. Nobody will find out anything from me, I swear to my Lord."

"Thank you", Jaqen said with a grin. "That means I don't have to kill you."

"And what are you going to do instead?", asked the priestess unimpressed. "Do you want to flee back to your existence as no one? This will not work. Your heart won't allow it."

"You are a more dangerous person than me", Jaqen stated. He sounded exhausted. "To answer your question: I don't know." They were silent for a while, Jaqen lying on his bed, Kinvara sitting on a chair next to it.

"Actually, I hate your kind", said the Faceless Man at last. "You and your Red God. For being brought back to a life that no longer had any value for me. In the House of Black and White, I finally found redemption and peace. But now..." He let out a sigh.

"Are you so afraid of life, Jaqen H'ghar?", Kinvara asked. She leaned forward until her face hovered very close to his. "And of love?"

"Especially of love", Jaqen whispered. "It brings so much ... pain."

"You have to overcome this fear", said the priestess. "You have lost a lot, and yet you have a lot left. And you can gain something new." Kinvara smiled. She knew for a while that Jaqen wanted her - well, strictly speaking, nine out of ten men who weren't eunuchs wanted her. The Red Priests did not know celibacy. And the First Servant of the Lord of Light couldn't deny that the Assassin had some attraction for her...

She kissed him spontaneously. At first the man was paralyzed with surprise, but then he gave in to the kiss. When their lips parted, Kinvara grinned at him. "Do you see? It's not that bad."

Jaqen H'ghar looked at her in amazement - and then he laughed.