Rugged Lace

Chapter Twenty-one

*Tell you everything you see, this is all that's left of me*

Around four Tyler gets hungry. While she knows all the talk about awful hospital food, she also personally knows which foods that are good. It only takes a minute or so for her to make it down there, and only a minute or two more for her to get a plate. Mashed potatoes, salad, and chicken nuggets.

Comfort food, of course.

Tyler lets her mind wander as she eats, closing her eyes and just taking in everything. This week has been messed up, hell, this month has. Graduation, Don, moving out, getting a job...and all these people. All my friends, all my sorta friends, and all those I tolerate.

Allowing her mind to wander, Tyler watches as people fill in one by one. Two by two. Singles, couples, trios, and parties, they all are there. Some are sad, some bored, some happy, and some just oblivious. The cafeteria, there's nothing else she could ever view it as, slowly gets more filled as it draws closer to five. Tearful family members, stressed parents, worn out boyfriends and girlfriends, people of all shapes and sizes. There's no predetermined seating charts, no divisions here. Just people. Just existing. We all just exist here, there's no reason to try and see if anything can be changed or will move. All of her melancholy thoughts always come out here, ever since she was a little girl Tyler's always thought her deepest in the heart of a crowd.

When Jake finds his way to her table she's not even surprised. "What's wrong?" Tyler asks, plastic fork twirling in her food. It's such a simple question, yet she knows nothing is ever simple.

Jake sits down, placing a soda bottle next to him. "My sister." She dimly notes that he chose Pepsi. Good choice.

"Is she okay?" Of course she's not.

"No." He's not spiteful or rude, just plainly stating facts. Tyler gives him a sad smile. It's the smile that everyone seems to wear here, one that says "I care" while also saying "I hate hearing about this". "But she's not dead, so it's not that bad."

Tyler nods, understanding what he means. There's no need for her to ask what's wrong, either he'll say it eventually or not. She takes another bite of food, wondering if she should continue the conversation. After a moment of thought she talks again, "My mom's gotten worse. She had a stroke...something about her medicine and her blood pressure. I'll pray for your sister, I hope she's okay."

"Ever wonder why these things happen?"

"All the time."

He chuckles, a little sour chuckle that almost sounds forced. "Ever come up with a solution?"

"My guess is either the universe wants us to become stronger, more independent, and to teach others lessons...or we got hit with the bad luck stick." She breathes out, feeling happier now that she can talk to someone. A smile dots her face, "Or maybe it's just how life needs to go."

He nods, "Those are all pretty good thoughts."

"Not that I'd want to believe any of those, though." Tyler sighs, forcing herself to finishing eating the food on her plate. It warms her stomach and makes her feel a little better, no matter how much she just wants to never eat again.

While most people eat and eat when they're sad, Tyler's always found herself comforted by the solitude of an empty stomach and an empty mind. I can't do that anymore. I've got a life now, I have to work and I have to live. "I want to believe that the world is perfect. I want to believe that no one gets hurt, and that when people seem bad...they're not. I want to believe that you can trust everyone. I want to believe that family doesn't hurt you, friends don't, and that no one ever dies..."