As the Days Go By | Legend of Zelda AU (ONGOING)

9. Distance and Reconciliation

So Sidon's back. Or rather a shell of who he was as crude as it sounds. Whatever made him the Sidon he was has gone, disappeared. He'd only say hi to Neji and I whenever we'd pass by and apologize for not hanging out. Frankly, it was annoying as it was concerning.

Actually, now that I thought about it, Neji and I haven't seen Mipha anywhere either. Since we realized it only made us even more worried. So I had Neji go and ask Sidon about it in person.

Why didn't I do it myself? Saying I didn't feel like it doesn't sound right at all. More like I felt I couldn't, like at all. So I was more inclined to let Neji ask for us. I mean, he was definitely much closer to him than I was, or so I say.

And yet I hid around a corner as Neji talked to Sidon at the end of classes. About damn time since the beginning of the week.

"I'm fine, I assure you," Sidon said. Hylia, could he not make that sound anymore convincing?

"No, you are not," Neji said pointedly. "You ditch school for a month and now you're acting like this? C'mon, can you tell us what's the matter? We're worried."

"Nothing you should be worried about, honest..." His exasperated voice trailed off. "... Really, I'm fine. I'll catch up with you guys some other time, promise..."

"Come—" Neji's voice cut off. "Promise?"

There was no response, so that seemed to be the end of that. What the hell? This was really annoying. I scuffed the bottom of my shoe against the wall as Neji made his grand appearance from around the corner.

He looked sullen, defeated. It was really damn annoying to see. Especially from him.

"The hell's his deal?" I said aloud, a hint of indignant showing through. One uncharacteristically stern glare from Neji told me I didn't have any place to talk. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. "I'm a damn hypocrite, aren't I?"

"Yeap," Neji said pointedly.

Okay yeah, that really stung, but he was right.

I pushed myself off the wall and picked my bag up. Then he and I left, having agreed to go to the diner again to study. Neji's focus would often waver and his hands would conveniently be too greasy to hold a pencil.

Except as of late I noticed he'd been quieter; no small talk or getting sidetracked. Half an hour in and he hasn't said much at all except for questions about his work which I helped him out with. Honestly, it's pretty weird to think about. But then he stopped. He tapped his pencil's eraser against the paper pensively.

"Hey." I caught his attention. He stopped tapping and looked up. "You stuck or something?"

He seemed to have snapped out of whatever trance he was in. "Huh? Oh, no. Sorry..."

Then he began writing in a well-paved manner. That interaction told me enough, he had something on his mind. I put my hand on his notebook. He peered up questioningly. I looked at him dead in the eye.

"You have something on your mind, talk to me."

His brows furrowed and he closed his notebook with his pencil inside. He rested his head against his hand.

"Can I be completely honest with you?" I nodded and he took a deep breath, holding it for a second before letting it all out. He tried to let his posture relax a bit. "I'm worried, like really worried man. I know that's not a surprise at all, but I can't help but think horrible crap about what Sidon's dealing with. Mipha's not around too so..."

He exhaled frustratedly. I nodded, I think I know what he was trying to imply, but I didn't think the same. Fuck me if I was right...

Neji smiled wryly. "I'm sorry, I'm just overthinking it. It's most definitely not my place, but..." He leaned forward, there was a serious look on his face. "Can I talk to you about something, please?"

I nodded. He sat back and let out a relieved sigh.

"First, can you tell me what or who I am to you? How do you see me? Describe how I am as a person. Be brutally honest, please!"

I flinched. Holy shit was I not expecting this. I mean, to be fair, what was I expecting? Still doesn't deny how surprising and forthright the question was. He was damn serious too.

So I thought about it. Maybe back then I would've called him an annoying prick, but not now, not today. Well, maybe I still thought that, but he's a lovable prick.

"W-Well um..." I scratched my head. "Shit, I dunno how to say it—I mean, to me you're like a little brother. Annoying, but lovable in a way." I looked up at him, cringing. He showed no reaction which was... a bit disconcerting. "You're really social, popular with lots of people especially in school. You kinda exude this aura of charismatic childishness."

Yeah, I didn't know what I was saying either. I just said whatever seemed right I guess...? Should that even be a question?

I shrugged. "I guess... That's all I have to say."

I watched as Neji seemed to try in process this information. Did I say something wrong?

Neji gave a wry smirk. "Huh, I didn't expect anything that mushy from you." He frowned and folded his hand on the table. "I mean, I don't wanna think like that or jump to conclusions for that matter, but I'm extremely worried about Sidon because I've lost a family member; my dad. I loved him with everything I had, but he left me—he left me behind in this world-" His voice cracked and his eyes were red.

I decided to speak. "Hey, hold on there. You don't have to talk about it—"

"No. I wanna." He looked at me with conviction through his tears. "Unless you don't want to listen, I'm sorry for just dumping all this-"

I shushed him. "I'm fine. I'm just worried about you."

He nodded. "All I have left is mom and I... I had nobody else, I was awkward and nobody liked me. People thought my hair was weird, so when I transferred I thought I could start anew. I put on a facade which worked short term, but it was hard to keep up."

I frowned. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you..." I didn't know what to say and I bit my lip. Luckily, Neji carried on.

He wiped his tears away and smiled. "But I'm fine now thanks to you guys, I finally found a place where I could be myself."

I felt warm and it felt really nice. Who woulda thought such a bubbly kid would have a tragic backstory? Yeah, I'm not one to talk about archetypes, huh?

He continued on. "I love you guys, I never want to lose you both."

Never lose us both... To never lose anyone, huh? That'd be nice. Really nice.

A/N: Hoo boy, another chapter I'm unsure about. I didn't know how to end it either which is absolutely fan-flippin-tastic!

Beginning to wrap up all the depressing stuff this fic has in store.

So yeah, if ya'll didn't see the announcement I posted yesterday, I said I might be leaving Wattpad. Whether permanently or for the time being, I don't know. Well, maybe leave isn't the right thing to say. I might stick around to talk or read friends' fics.

I've kind of grown out of Wattpad and am starting to lose interest in writing fanfiction for LoZ. Maybe it was all my failed attempts. If only I could count how many projects that never came to light within these three years. I've only ever fully completed one fic and that was during the winter of the first year I started writing. And I unpublished it so I think that says quite a bit.

I might make a full-on comeback, but don't get your hopes up like at all, please.

I decided to move over to AO3 and have moved on to a new obsession of mine, SMT: Persona, and have even begun to co-write a fic for it. I thought about editing and uploading As the Days Go By but I think I'll just leave it as it is here.

I want to start with a clean slate. I'm even going by a new alias I've picked up a few months back.

I really am sorry. To all of you, the small following I've procured, thank you and I love you all.