Anger Management- Euphoria

twenty-four

Immediately after he left, I went right back to craving him. He hadn't even been gone five minutes and already, my body ached for him again. The strong yearning for him easily defeated the anxiety of my secrets. 

It took no effort to remember the way his lips felt on mine. The texture of his silky hair was ingrained into my mind. His moans and growls were on constant repeat, like a soundtrack. My core pulsed as I thought about when he came inside me. 

I knew that it should have stressed me out, I should have been racing to the drug-store for a morning after pill. But I was never one for doing what I should. If I did that, I wouldn't be in love with Nate. 

I was all over the place, confusing and hurting him-- all to protect my fucking dirty secrets. Was it even worth it? I knew that Nate's love was worth everything. I had to tell him everything and trust that he would be smart about it. 

Getting ready for school, I brushed my teeth, getting rid of the cursed morning breath. My hair had finally started to dry as I grabbed my backpack and slid out of the door for school. 

I climbed into my Lexus, one of the only remnants of my previous life style. I hesitate a moment before pulling out of the drive. Besides Nate, I had some unfinished business. 

Fezco was  sitting outside the small shop, exactly like he always was. I tried not to think to hard about what I wanted to say, it would already be hard enough. 

His face lit up at the sight of me. "Hey, where you been?" he voice was smooth and relaxed. 

I shyly smiled, praying to get this over with. "Nowhere." There was a seat next to him, I didn't take it. 

He could tell by my formality that something was up. "You went back to him." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. 

I watched his face as I nodded. The expression of disappointment that I had expected crossed his face. I really resented hurting Fez, especially since he was nothing but good to me. 

I kept my distance as I moved onto the next subject. "Bruce paid me a little visit." I stated casually. 

Instantly, he body tensed. He hadn't anticipated me to even know who that was. Fez cleared his throat before answering. "What did he want?"

I shrugged my shoulders, even though I remembered very well what he wanted. "Oh- something about money." I clicked my tongue, "He mentioned you, 'Tell Fezco hi for me'." 

His eyes dropped. I had spent enough time with Fez to know that that meant he was ashamed. 

"What the fuck did you do Fez?" I demanded, heating rising to my pale face. 

He shook his head, not wanting to share. "I didn't have a choice." 

"What did you do?" I wasn't going to ask again. 

"I- work for Mouse. He threatened to hurt you or somethin' if I didn't update him 'bout you." His words were barely a whisper, but they were laced with guilt. 

It didn't take a genius to know that Fez felt bad but that didn't excuse his bullshit. "So, you were spying on me?" 

Fez didn't answer. In that moment, whatever anger I felt dispersed. I actually felt bad for him, I knew that he had a lot of responsibilities and he could barely keep up. It was a complicated dilemma; betray me or let them hurt me. Whatever he said must have pleased them, they hadn't come and beat me up. 

There was nothing left to say. I went back to my car, my head spinning. 

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The school lot was already crowded by the time I arrived. I kept my eye out for the obvious, Nate's silver Dodge. It took a few turns around the lot before I found it. Nate was leisuring against it's side next to a totally empty spot. I pulled into the spot swiftly, my heart fluttering at the thought of being next to him again. 

My heart was perpetually in flutters around Nate. I caught the warm brown of his eyes as I shut my car door. People don't like brown eyes, the prefer lighter colors because they think brown eyes are boring. To me, all other eyes besides his were tedious. I delighted  in the chocolate depth of them, noticing the small golden flects reflect in the beaming sunlight. 

I noticed little things about him and no one else would. I noticed how no matter how he styled his hair, the part on his forehead would always be raised. When he was in deep thought, a small indent formed between his dark brows. 

I loved him absolutely. 

The warm intense pressure returned to my best. The feeling of affection. I couldn't keep my eyes off him as I got to his side. I melted into his touch as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I felt his nose glide against the top of my head, smelling my hair. 

"Strawberries." he murmered, tugging me tighter. 

I smiled at his comment. He cherished the smell of my strawberry shampoo, he always had. "You're favorite." I responded, reaching my lips up to barely graze his jaw with a light kiss. 

He seemed to shiver against the touch, like he wanted more. We didn't need to say much else he walked me to my first class. My heart dropped at the thought of separating so soon. It never felt like enough time with him. 

Nate didn't hesitate to bring his lips to mine outside the room. His hand gripped the base of my neck possessively, protectively. His lips fused into mine quickly and wholly before pulling away. 

I retreated into my class, everyone's eyes stayed on me. I didn't care. I could only focus on the fluttering  in my stomach. I took my usual seat behind Jules, who immediately turned to face me. 

Her eyes were burning with questions. "Are you officially with Nate now?" 

Her question wasn't accusatory like I had assumed, it was mostly curious.

I couldn't stop the small smile from growing on my lips. "Yes." 

Jules saw the happiness on my face and her expression brightened with positivity. She regularly knew how to see the bright-side. "Have you slept with him?"

I opened my mouth to answer but was interrupted by the ringing of the bell. Jules groaned before turning back around to face the front. 

God it felt so fucking good to know what the fuck was going on. 

Just like that, the story was coming together.