If Only

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I remember when we first met.
What seems so long ago,
Was really only three years.
We laughed and sang
Underneath the stars,
And swam beneath the sunny sky.

I promised the friendship,
And held on to our goodbyes
At the end of every summer.
Even now, that last goodbye
Reminds me of the many times
We've said farewell over the years,
And how I always assumed
We'd say hello again soon.
But now I'm not so sure.

As the days go by,
The silence grows deeper
And my fear of truly losing you
Sinks further into my chest.
I so nearly had you.
Everything I wanted in my grasp
But you were so far away.
Maybe we weren't meant to be?

Life is more cruel than a broken bone.
It teases and taunts and scars.
If only it had been forgiving for us
And either prevented our meeting
Or entwined our destinies more easily
Perhaps whatever "we" were
Could have prospered.

I'm left here with a shattered heart,
That I'm desperately trying to fix
And it's not entirely your fault.
You can't change the distance
And my longing for you,
Isn't something you can alter or fade
So no, it's not your fault when I say
I miss you.
God damn it do I miss you.
And i barely had you.
But what I did have was enough
It light firecrackers in my ribs
But it's gone.
You're gone.

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